Birthday Wishes

Truth be told, I never believe in birthday wishes. That explains why I haven't made any birthday wish at all since 12 years old.

Cause what is the point of making birthday wishes when they never come true?

I made plenty of wishes before 12. Non came true. In fact, I can't even remember what I wished for back then.

Since my wishes never came true, I don't even bother making them anymore. Whenever I have a birthday cake and there's this close-your-eyes-and-make-a-fucking-wish routine before blowing out the candles, I always just close my eyes and cup my hands together for no apparent reason.

I never make any wish. Cause they just never come true for me.

To a certain extent, I am not really disappointed when my wishes don't come true. I like surprises. That is why when happy things happen to me, I prefer to stay in a mental of how-the-fuck-did-this-happen, rather than "Oh my birthday wish came true, boring~".

However this year, prior to my birthday in a few days time, I have prepared a list of 3 wishes which I do hope, for a change, will come true.

Come midnight on that exact day, you will see an idiot holding together his hands and facing the window. Don't call the police, I am just making my wishes that has been late for 11 years.

The 1st wish: I want to graduate successfully next June and I hope I don't ever have to study again. Unless of course, I am paid to. Who says NO to free money?

The 2nd wish: I want to buy things without even bothering to look at the price tag, ever.

As for the 3rd wish, it shall be the most important wish and will therefore remain a secret. Don't worry, I ain't hoping I turn into a lady. I still prefer pee-ing while I am standing. Squatting isn't for me. Fat people don't like squatting. If there is really a need for me to squat, I will..... Ok I will squat.

Dear Birthday Genie, for once, please come and visit me on my birthday.

You Motherfucker....