Puzzled Indian

My current job requires me to entertain people of all races. Mainly Chinese, Indians, Bangladesh-es, Thais, Myanmeses and Malays.

Dont ask me what I am working as. I wont tell you that my job requires me to sit at the desk and smile like an idiot to people who half the time dont understand a single fuck I am talking about.

Take for today as an example. Mr Indian With A Mole came in and requested for some changes. After half an hour of chicken-talking-to-duck conversation, I finally settled his case.

I tried explaining to him the details. One thing I dont understand is why he must keep shaking his head from left to right. I thought he didnt get what I was saying. So I tried explaining clearer, this time breaking my fake-chim-chim ang moh into simple english broken up into pieces.

Again he keep shaking his head left to right. But this time he was saying "yes, yes"

Nah beh Tamagochi~ I thought saying yes was suppose to be a nodding action. Why must Mr Indian act so extra?

Ok, it's still working hours. Time to get back to smiling like an idiot.

Lately..

My last entry was dated way back on 26th Nov.

Many a times after that I tried to write something. Some had a beginning, some had an end, but non had a beginning and an end. My mind was basically too pre-occupied, troubled....

Troubled because I cant seem to decide what I should eat for breakfast the next day. McMuffin? Cha Kway Tiao? Wa Laoz~ You tell me lah. How to decide?

Anyway shall give a brief update on what I did since 26th Nov.

On 27th Nov, I reached the Brisbane Domestic Terminal via bus and train. I know I am a really fucking sway guy. And it didnt really much surprise me when I saw that my flight, Virginblue Airlines was the only flight that was delayed amongst the 32 flights shown on the bloody TV.

Well, nothing unusual. Never mind that I am rushing for transit to Singapore in Darwin, never mind that there is only 5 hours left to my flight in Darwin, minus the 3 hours I have to take to travel from Brisbane to Darwin.

Messy? Never mind. Just know that the morale of the story is I am damn s w a y .

And one thing to add on, now I know why Virginblue Airlines is called Virginblue Airlines.

They make you feel like its the first time you are taking a plane.

All the symptoms starts to set in. You feel dizzy, nauseous and heartbeat skipping everytime the plane jerks a little.

Anyway as sway as I am, I am glad least I manage to run and rush my way just in time for the flight Tiger Airways back home. I even managed to squeeze in time for a ciggerate, tsk~

Touching down in Singapore was a really good thing. Well, it would be better if it was in Terminal 1 or 2 instead of Budget Terminal. Never mind, I am just glad I reached Singapore.

Met up with most of my friends, ate food that I badly missed out for the last 5 months and guess what, up-to-date, I have went for 7 ktv sessions!

Rested for 1 week before I eventually started work at my old place. No choice, no sugar mommy = no money. Just kidding, I wouldnt spend girl's money anyway. I lied

Ok, time to ciaoz~

All My Bags Are Packed~ I am Ready to Go~

5 months ago, I packed my bag. I packed all my stuffs with a heavy heart cause I was leaving for a good cause then; further studies.

Finally after months of waiting and hoping, I am once again packing my bag; for holidays back home. I cant wait to go back Singapore. I cant wait to indulge in all the delicious food back home and live like a King.

This may sound exaggerating a bit, but I do fucking badly miss home though its just like 5 months only. Maybe its because I am a very homely boy. Life in Australia wont be that bad if I wasnt here for studies. Perhaps I would get to enjoy life over here better.

Well at least hopefully next semester I would appreciate it more.

But I heard a rather unpleasant news earlier in the afternoon. It seems that taxi fares in Singapore has increased a bit fucking a lot. This is really discomforting for me to hear cause cabs here in Australia is really expensive. And I was really looking forward to the cheaper rides back home.

So the news this afternoon didnt really justify my months of waiting. I understand that everytime the government decides to increase certain public transport fees, it's due to either improved services or more frequent intervals of trains and buses.

But this time, I certainly do not understand the logic on increasing the taxi fares. Can someone please enlighten me on this issue? I havent had time to read the online Straits time cause I was busy watching dvds revising for next semester ever since my exams.

Is it cause we are upgrading our taxis from Toyota Corollas to limousines? Or do they now serve free meals in taxis like air planes do? Or perhaps they are installing Xbox or PS3 in taxis?

Enlighten me please. I am still in a state of traumatisation.

In Process Of Going Back To Motherland

Extremely busy these few days. Busy packing up all my stuffs before I head back to Singapore. Damn, how i wish going back can be easier. But it appears not as easy due to the fact that I wont be staying at my current place next semester.

And because of this fact, it means that there are plenty of things for me to settle. I need to put on a garage sale to sell my stuffs, empty all my things in my room to bring over to the Dwarfs' Hut, cancel my internet, cancel my electricity bills, return house keys, arrange for house inspection, arrange for cleaning of carpets and house interiors.

Wa laoz, faint~ To worsen things, it seems like I am the only one who is realising time is not enough. So I got to take intiative over everything. This sucks. My housemates seems kinda relax bout it.

Ok, enough grumbling, time to continue packing my things from where I stop.....

Random

Its been a few days since I last update my blog. Guess its about time I clear away some of the dusts or not I guess it will rot before I go back Singapore.

Currently at the balcony of the Dwarfs Hut smoking away while typing away my blog. Today I went to the city and bought a cap. Buying a cap is always a easy case; for people with small heads.

But as friends who knows me know the fact that Yours Sincerely is blessed with a rather humongous slightly bigger head than normal Earthlings, so choosing a cap that suit me wasnt really an easy case.

I tried almost every brand, every design of the cap on the shelf before I finally settled one that was catered for people with big heads like me. How friendly Australians are I think, they actually have caps that fit my head.

The reason I needed a cap was cause my hair is now getting long & flowy. It will be rather irritating to apply gel everytime I go out, quite a hassle. Imagine I just wana go out for a coffee session or what and I gotta apply gel each time. I wouldnt wanna scare the old folks in my area.

Ok, time to have a relax smoke and chatting session with the Dwarfs. They are out to disturb me.

Exams Are Over!!

Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over! Exams are over!



But I dont feel happy at all.

My Name

My name is Hong Ziqiang, 洪子强。孩子的子，强壮的强。

Frankly speaking, I am proud of my name. I used to hate my name cause it doesn't have a ring to it. But over the years, as I grew older, I make it a point to like what my parents have named me.

Thats why till now, I didn't adopt any ang moh name.

Well not as if I didnt try adopting one before. But I just prefer my chinese name in the end. It just sounds weird hearing people calling me other than my chinese name. Think its an infactuation I grew to have over my name.

That's why whenever people ask me my chinese name, I will say proudly my name is 洪子强。孩子的子，强壮的强。

Know why I emphasize on saying each individual characters of my name?

Cause 9 out of 10 people on hearing my name for the first time will still call me Zhiqiang (志强).
I absolutely hate that. I dont know why. But I prefer insist people call me by the right pronounciation.

However not adopting any ang moh names do have its con too. For example, over my past 23 years, not one single non-chinese person has ever, AND I mean ever pronounce my name correctly.

My malay friends call me Jiqiang. What the fuck? I am not Chicken Strong.

Ang moh people call my name Zee Kueng. Even worse. I am not some ang ku kway.

Everytime they call me wrongly, deep inside my heart I will always be cursing "Ji your l*nji*o lah".

So in the end, I ask them to call me Hong. Easy and idiot proof. At least its one name which they have almost no problem pronounciating.

I just hate it when people mispronounced my name. Thats the bond and pride I have over my name.

我的名字是洪子强。孩子的子，强壮的强。

Alternatively, you can call me 强爷 :)

The Happiest Person In Army

Yet again, while I was trying my best to revise hard hard, score high high for my exams which is next week, I yet again have the sudden urge to blog; I have a sudden topic I want to say. Tsk..

For the past 16 years of schooling, I always have a problem concentrating on revising for my exams. Perhaps, maybe, possibly got a slight chance that explains of my low grades for the past 16 years.

Ok I am off track again. Back to my main topic.

Everyone or should I say almost no one likes the thought of going army. I mean you may not really dislike the idea of getting enlisted into army. But I am certain no single sound-minded person will be happy to say "Hurray, I am getting enlisted tomorrow! Free meals, free workouts, free lodgings, free teaching of how to tidy your room clean clean dust free"

Well, I do hope no one thinks like this.

But does anyone know or have the slightest clue which type of person will be the happiest in army?

The one who gets to be a clerk?

The one who gets to work from 8 to 5?

The one who gets the good allowance and is require to do the minimum amount of work?

The one who gets to chao keng throughout their NS liability?

Well if your answers are any of the above, I can just say you are somewhere there, but nowhere near.

I, Yours Sincerely, have come up with the perfect theory on Whose The Most Happiest Person In Army.

I believe whole heartedly, that gays are the most happiest.

Imagine everynight when you shower, you get to see one whole bunch of guys naked, and showering. How great can that be??

Example I like women. No I dont mean example, I mean as in actual fact I like girls. And everynight I get to see one whole bunch of girls naked, and showering with me. Wuuuuuu!!

How nice will that be? It is absolutely heaven!

I get to shower with one whole bunch of girls, and when we are changing into our clothes in the bunk, we just change straight away without the need of excusing ourselves to the toilet.

Watching girls change infront of me! Thats an enjoyment!!

So just tell me. Who can be more happier than gays in army?

Smell it?

Exactly 1 month left to Hello Singapore, Byebye Australia temporary. I cant wait to jump into the hands of my Motherland. It will be a joyous occasion for me, and my friends.

Because they can make use of me to organise a long-awaited prata session at our old place. They didnt have enough cars after I left.

Because they can make use of me to organise a BBQ session. During secondary school I was the Welfare Chairman. What I basically do is just organise more outings for my class since I was the most cho-bo-lan person around I was well-known for my enthusiasm, responsility and passion in getting gatherings.

Because they can make use of me to finish their leftovers during meals because they know I never get full because they believe in karma. And to leave over unfinished food was sinful cause you will get a husband/wife with face full of pimples pokkle dots.

Because they can make use of me to accompany them when they are bored. Because they know I always stays at home cause no one asks me out that I will surely go out and accompany them.

Because they can make use of me for a chat on the phone when they are bored. Because they know that I am damn k-po and can gossip with them about other people I am a spontaneous chatter on the phone and can exchange educational information and latest happenings about our friends.

And lastly because I love my friends...













When they give me free presents and treats :)

Eye Small Small, Ball Big Big

I am sleepy. I am tired. I am small small eyes and big big balls now. Still in the midst of rushing the my final report for this semester.

Remember the module which I said me and the Dwarfs got to come up a design of a car? Yeah, we are doing that crap now. So tired. Literally walking zombies everywhere in the Dwarfs' Hut now. Show you all a sneak preview of what we did hehehe.

TA DAH~~ This is the result of our great work. Small nice cute little car. Just nice for a Smurf to fit inside it.

By the way, do you know how to pronounce chassis?

If you are pronouncing it as chey-sis, then welcome to my clan. We were given a good laugh by the ang mohs when we first said that.

I dont know why but ang mohs call it share-si.

I shall bear with it. I am in their country, so I can only tahan my anger when they laugh and say "You stupid chinki~ It's called share-si"

Wait till they go Singapore.

"Do you sell any share-si?"

"Share-si your la*ji*o lah! It's called chey-sis ok. Dumb Ang Moh"

A Touching Day..

Finally after that day, I am left with just 1 assignment and 2 exams.

Worked my ass out for my final report yesterday and only managed to complete this morning. Phew, finally! Though it's not like I have completed everything, I am still happy.

Why? Well cause judging from the workload which I face that time, and had no choice but to marry anyone who does my work for me, I think I should be happy I completed things this far.

Tomorrow is the due date for the final last assignment of this semester. No worries about that since I can copy work things out tomorrow in school. Tsk..

By the way, just a kind warning to the friends of Yours Sincerely, please be prepare to pay your debts. Cause Yours Sincerely is coming back to Singapore SOON!

Finally!

To my Motherland. I just cant wait to eat food sold back in Motherland. At last for 3 months I no eat to eat my Indo-Mee. Hopefully at the end of 3 months I dont get so reluctant to come back to Australia again.

One more thing, any kind-hearted fellow would like to donate money to me? I am so in need of money that just one week after I reach Singapore, I will be starting work in my old place liao. Saddening :(

Ok, dont have much things to blog today hehe. So I shall stop now and take a smoke outside.

Yeah, I am still smoking :)

The Worst Way Of Dying

Funny enough, while I was doing my report just now, I suddenly thought about the worst way of dying. Do not ask me why my report link me to thinking the worst way of dying. It just suddenly pops up in my head.

Not that I feel like dying now, well theoretically speaking I feel like dying. Considering the endless reports which I am buried in nowaweeks, but technically speaking I dont feel like dying yet. Cause I still want to get to the age where I can watch my children grow up. Watch them screw some girls and then out pops my grandchildren. Well that is for sons lah. If I have daughters, watch them get screwed and out pops my grandchildren.

Anyway I thought of a few ways of the worst way of dying.

Get hit by a car then dragged along under the vehicle for a few metres. My legs at the left side of the road, my body on the right side of the street, my head on top of the car, my penis in the exhaust pipe.

Fall down from the 34th storey, head first. Brain juice splattered everywhere. Wait, in this case I dont think my brain juice will splatter. I have too big a head. Most probably my head will remain intact and the rest of my body become crushed from a height of 172cm to 137cm.

Get burned alive till I smell like barbeque meat while next door neighbours are having char-siew rice.

All these are considered quite gross till I thought about one way which I saw in a movie decades back. I am buried in a breeding ground of red ants where only my head is above the ground. In the breeding ground is not few, not hundreds, not thousands, not millions but TRILLION of red, fierce operationally-ready army of red ants. Then I will watch helplessly as they crawl towards me, into my nostrils, ear holes, mouth and biting my internal organs out.

I will die a slowly an pain death. I thought this was the most gross way of dying till I thought of another way which I rank as the MOST gross!

I dont mind saying out. But I hope no one will ever do these to me.

I fear most of getting bury in a pool of $100 dollar notes. So many of it till it covers me. Taking away any freedom of movement that I have.

So please, if you ever want to kill me, dont use the $100 method. Pleaseeeeeeeee~~


To gain that worth having, it may be necessary to lose everything else. - Bernadette Devlin

My Butt..

I can feel my butt is cracking. I am not sure why too.

Perhaps it's due to the fact I have been sitting infront of my laptop everyday for least 6 hours for the past 20 days?

Perhaps it's due to the fact that I have been doing my endless streams of reports and assignments while sitting on my chair for the past 20 days?

Or is it perhaps due to the fact that I just spend 9 straight hours sitting on the chair, staring at my laptop, completing my report today?

I am not very perhaps sure too.

I am so busy these few days that I cant even blog when I feel like blogging. How I wish today is 8th Nov....

Haiz..

I have been eating a lot of instant noodles lately too. Totally deprived of the time to cook myself a decent meal. Even when I do have the time, I just feel plain lazy to chop the garlics, onions, chinese veggie etc to cook myself a meal.

I am that lazy...

How I wish someone just invent a pill. And the pill can have Assam Laksa flavour or Chicken Rice flavour. Then whatever I want to eat, I just pop that pill in. And the result is the same as in I eat an actual meal.

How I wish studying is made easier. Perhaps you just insert a tube into your head and everything will be uploaded into your brain. And the bigger your head, the more knowledge you can stall.
I think in this case I will end up the smartest person in the world.

How I wish I can travel to any countries I want more easily instead of taking planes. Perhaps build a shuttle. I just walk in, close the door, enter the destination I want to go to. And 5 min later I will end up in that place. Wait, I dont even mind waiting for 15 min.

How I wish I can have so many wishes. Life is pathetic.


So is it possible to see the limitations of thought and give it its right place, and therefore giving the right place to thought brings about clarity - right? We mean by right place - the art of that intelligence which comes through investigation, through exploration, that art - the very meaning of that word is to put everything where it belongs, put everything in our life where it belongs, and to find out where it belongs you need tremendous intelligence. - J. Krishnamurti

I Feel It..

I feel my balls going soft. Doing 32 pages of pure calculation is pure madness. And the best part is that the 32 pages of pure calculation is just one of the many many things I need to complete.

I am sick. Allergic to school.

To make things worse, one of the many reports I am writing now is regarding Human Resource Management.

What the fuck? I am a Mechanical Engineer-to-be. So why am I learning how to write HR management report.

I just love University. It is slowly screwing me up.

I am really looking so forward to the end of my exams on 8th Nov. The Dwarfs and me are so looking forward to that day that we are starting to plan our after activities after the exam.

Of course, to mark an occasion like that, booze drinking is a must.

Mark my words. I am going to get so dead drunk on that day that I wont even realise I am in Australia.

If what I am going through now is a dream, someone please wake me up.

I found out something the other day too. Being Buddhist, we all know that very often, we have to pay offerings to the deities by burning joss sticks or joss papers or buy fruits all these stuff.

But ever heard of pay offerings ONLINE? Yeah you heard me right. Paying offerings online.

I didnt know that there are wireless broadbands in the other world right now.

Think I gonna add my ah gongs and ah mas to my MSN now....


It is fairly obvious that most of us are confused intellectually. We see that the so-called leaders in all departments of life have no complete answer to our various questions and problems. - Buddha

Something About Aussialah~

Today I feel like talking more about Australia Aussialah.

I remember clearly that it was the 3rd week in Aussialah, that I show something. That something make me speechless, except open my big mouth and awe in amazement.

Before any report, there is always an Introduction part. So I shall make an Introduction first.

Back in Singapore, if I asked what method do we use to dispose off our rubbish, True Singaporeans At Heart will be able to answer me 100% accurately.

Firstly, we have friendly neighbourhood Spiderman Bangla who comes by regularly in his mini rubbish car. Happily jostling with our rubbish before emptying it in his mini rubbish car.

After which friendly neighbourhood Bangla will drive his mini rubbish car back to his Rubbish Base, happily whistling along the way. Along the way he will be wondering how come the road infront of him is so empty. Not knowing because True Singaporeans At Heart always siam at the sight of seeing a mini rubbish car.

No need paiseh to say. WE ARE FREAKING SCARED OF THE SMELL!

Anyway once friendly neighbourhood Bangla reaches his Rubbish Base, he will happily empty the rubbish into the main rubbish bin while waiting for the Big Rubbish Truck to come and empty all the rubbish friendly neighbourhood Bangla has in his Rubbish Base.

That's how, we, True Singaporeans At Heart, know about our country's rubbish disposal method.

Ok, end of introduction. Now to the main part on what I am trying to blog today.

So after that 3rd week which I saw that something in Aussialah that make me amazed, I was waiting for the chance to see something pass by me again. But I was never able to catch it in action..

Until today hia hia hia.....

I finally saw something in action. Wanting so much to share with my friends on what I actually saw, I faster run into my room and grabbed my Canon Ixus 800i out from my room and video cam it.

Hehe, so now Ladies & Gentlemen, allow me to show you that something which make me awed~

CLICK HERE


If your mouth is now closed after seeing the video, come on. Give me some face. Am I the only one who AWE when I see this? Dont make me look like a suah koo. Please awe along with me :(

I am not a kampong kid~



I become a girl when I drink beer.
I start talking nonsense. I start picking on things. I start picking a quarrel with anyone I see. I start being unreasonable - Qiang (Stolen idea from somewhere)

I Hate Cutting Fingernails

I hate cutting fingernails. Why must we have fingernails? And guess what?

I hate guys who keep long fingernails on their last finger. I know it's called pinkie, I deliberately dont want to call it pinkie. Cause pinkie sounds so girly.

Anyway, I always find it a hassle to cut my fingernails. I like to keep it short. Some may deabte say keep fingernails good what. can open coke or sprite easily. Yeah I know that. I do not have much problem opening can drinks with my short fingernails too.

Cause even if the can drink doesnt open through the conventional way, I will make sure it opens using brute force. Trust me, I got plenty. But overall, I am still a Gentle True Singaporean At Heart.

I cant really think of any good points for keeping long fingernails. Since there is laser for permanent hair removal, is there any laser treatment for permanent fingernail removal?

I suggest we pull the whole fingernail out leaving just the flesh exposed. Cool right?

And one thing I really really hate about fingernails. I always have this phobia that associates chalkboard with fingernails. When I was just a little boy, I used to imagine the horrid noise it creates if you were to scratch your nails against the chalkboard..

EEEeeeekk.. I am having goosebumps now.

Hey what! Fat people got goosebumps too ok~

And besides, I dont use my fingernail to dig my nose too. Cause with or without, I still can dig using my finger. Tsk.

Digging nose is a luxury. The feeling is quite similar when a woman orgasms. I suppose...

Digging nose is shiok. Digging nose is an Art that requires years of horning one's skills. Just a suggestion to everyone out there. If you dont want to have big nostrils, next time dig your nose using ur pinkie.

Reason is simple. Lets compare digging your nose with your thumb or your pinkie. Overtime, do you think your nostrils will have a wider circumference if you have been using your thumb?

For those who have been thinking eee eee eee while reading this entry. Dont act as if you dont dig your nose.

9 out of 10 people that I know digs their nose regularly. The other died of respiratory problems. Apparently his nose was clogged up with Pi Sai.

Speaking of which, what is the weirdest friend you have? I know of one particular fran that till now I rank him as Number 1 weird guy.

I caught particular guy in action "LIVE" once in class. Apparently particular guy was digging his nose (Dont ask me why I am looking at him digging his nose). Particular guy took his finger out and even from where I was sitting, I could see that it was obvious there was green Pi Sai on his pinkie.

Next, before I know, particular guy popped that bloody same finger INTO HIS MOUTH AND TASTED IT!!

AAARRGGGHHHH~~~ WHAT THE FUCK RIGHT?!

Gross BIG time!

Lucky that happen when I was way much younger. I think particular guy has quit that habit now.

I hope..


Amida Buddhism opened up Buddhism in Japan to all classes. Where heretofore Buddhism had been exclusionary to woman and lower classes, the spread of Pure Land philosophy allowed a democratic and inclusionary blossoming of Buddhism throughout Japan.

征婚

Just a couple of days ago, I changed my MSN nick to "I will marry anyone who is willing to do my - 1 lab report - 3 workbooks - 2 assignments - 2 final reports - 2 exams now"

I recieve massive feedback. A lot of people starting msn-ing me.

But I was not in the least happy at all. The reason is because they msn me not because they want to send in their application for my msn notice. But rather they msn me to laugh at me.

"No one will do for you one la."

"You put you want to marry them, that's why no one dare to offer their help lah."

"If you dont put want to marry them, I think got more people will help you lah."

All these were saddening. But none were fatal enough to deal me that massive blow till one msn me this.

"Aiya. You change your nick to - I will marry the person who REFUSES to help me do my reports. And I confirm everyone will start helping you~"

Neh neh tamagochi~ I am so sad :(

My fragile heart was broken.

Anyway, I didnt want to blog today actually cause as my statistics shows, I still have a lot of unfinished things. Basically I have been like damn busy for the whole month and it is going to be this way till next november when my last exam paper ends.

I feel so sian. I feel a bit stress.

Did you know how to see whether a person is feeling stress?

Ah huh! Bet ya dont know.

Lucky being a True Singaporean At Heart, I am intellectually equipped with fucking-the-not-bad face reading skills. So now please allow Yours Sincerely to impart you with some skills from the Qiang's Dummy Guide to Facial Readings.

Refering to Page 231, line 12, it says this:

"By observing the facial expressions of one's face, you will be able to know whether he/she is feeling stress. Easy, once you notice his/her eyes, mouth and nose starts living closer to each other, it means he/she is feeling stress."

I am so smartttt~


A good friend who points out mistakes and imperfections and rebukes evil is to be respected as if he reveals a secret of hidden treasure. - Buddha

If Qiang Can Cook, So Can You! PART II

And finally, it is time again for the much anticipated secret Qiang's recipe! Today I am going to teach a dish which I just ate for dinner. This dish is suitable for people of all ages. And best of all, it is nice to eat! (Self-assumed)

This dish is called: 强式特礼亚奇酱拌饭 (Qiang's Style Teriyaki Mixed Rice)

Ingredients

- Of course, to cook teriyaki you need fucking teriyaki sauce.

- Oyster sauce (Aga aga)

- Rice (Cooked rice!)

- Capsicums (Half)

- Water (1/4 glass. But if you have a big glass, then fuck it. Just aga aga)

- Sugar aka gula gula (Little. Few powders. One pinchful (Forget one pinchful if you have fat fingers)

- Chinese veggie (Dont ask why chinese veggie. Cause I am Chinese! You can use kang kong if you are Malay or parsley if you are Italian)

- Meat

- Salt (Aga aga)

- Light Kikkoman soya sauce

- Chopped garlic

- Sliced onion (1 HUGE onion)

Step 1: Marinate meat with salt, light Kikkoman soya sauce.

Step 2: Heat the frying pan and put some oil in it. After which, throw in your finely chopped garlic. As I shall repeat again, keep stirring the bloody garlic and make sure it doesnt turn too brown.

Step 3: Throw in your marinated meat and onion.

Step 4: Cook till you see your onion a bit chao-ta. Dont ask why. It's Yours Sincerely recipe if ya remember? Once onion a bit chao-ta, throw in your chinese veggie and capsicums.

Step 5: Important step!! If you have prepared parsley in Step 4, you can throw it away. I HATE PARSLEY!

Step 6: Once you aga aga think that your chinese veggie and capsicums are done, it's time to add the sauce. Note: If your movements are slow, I suggest you simmer the fire. Or not, by the time you realise you finish adding the sauce, you find yourself with a pan of chao-ta veggies.

Anyway, add the teriyaki sauce, sugar and oyster sauce in.

Step 7: Put water in. Wait for gravy to boil.

Step 8: If you realise after a very long time your gravy still doesnt boil, it means you simmer your bloody fire in Step 6 and you forgot to turn the fire back. (Advice: You shouldnt cook in future)

Step 9: Prepare cooked rice on a plate. Pour your contents in pan over your rice.
Wa lah! You have prepared yourself a nice meal of 强式特礼亚奇酱拌饭 (Qiang's Style Teriyaki Mixed Rice) for yourself.

Enjoy!


Let us live gladly! Quite certainly we are free to do it. Perhaps it is our only freedom, but ours it is, and it is only phenomenally a freedom. 'Living free' is being 'as one is'. Can we not do it now? Indeed can we not-do-it? It is not even a 'doing': it is beyond doing and not-doing. It is being as-we-are. This is the only 'practice'. 'All Else is Bondage; Non-Volitional Living' - Buddha

The Noise

So tired I was after spending the whole day at the Dwarfs' Hut doing my report, that I dozed off straight after dinner back at home.

Was sleeping soundly when I got awoken by my neighbour, again, playing with his trumpet. Pardon me, playing is too strong a word. I should say that he was making noises with his trumpet.

Despite that, I could actually still figure out he was trying to play the tune in one of Superman's movies.

Grrr. Two things I hate most in life is when I get disturbed in my sleep and you disturbed my sleep.

Anyway what can I do? I am a gracious True Singaporean At Heart. So just keep quiet, maybe frown a bit and wake up loh~

Which reminds me of something. I broke my personal record with The Art Of Sheep Counting again two days ago. I counted 1100+ sheeps. Tsk.

I am really getting lifeless here. I stopped counting till 1100+ because simply, to count the sheeps in chinese when it reaches the 1000 mark was damn difficult and every count was very very longggggg..

“一千零一只绵羊，一千零二只绵羊，一千零三只绵羊。。。。”

Damn tiring loh, I also reached a stage where my sheeps were jumping over the fence in twos or threes. Because I keep losing counts.

But the fact that I am counting sheeps almost every night shows one thing.

I find it harder to sleep over here. I dont know why. Beats me too.

Does anyone with psychological background can explain to me my behaviour now? Is it because I am worried that I am getting more yandao than Andy Lau therefore resulting in the fear in me that I will get swarmed by flocks of girls every now and then?

How siah like that? I scareddddddd you know. So scareddddddd that I think I will hit 2000 sheeps tonight :(


While the Tathagata, in his teaching, constantly makes use of conceptions and ideas about them, disciples should keep in mind the unreality of all such conceptions and ideas. They should recall that the Tathagata, in making use of them in explaining the Dharma always uses them in the semblance of a raft that is of use only to cross a river. As the raft is of no further use after the river is crossed, it should be discarded. So these arbitrary conceptions of things and about things should be wholly given up as one attains enlightenment. -Buddha

Random

This is just another one of the many many random insertion of entry into my very lame blog. As usual, I am currently indulging in the fascination of anyhow bombarding craps into my reports.

Just recieved my timetable for my exam. First paper on 6th Nov followed by another one on 8th. That's all.

In case now you are thinking What the fuck?! Only 2 subjects????
Well just to reconsider that thought of yours, the reason I have only 2 examination topics is because Yours Sincerely is now trying to rush out 2 final reports for my other 2 modules. Time is running out~

And by the way, due to much consideration and constraints and reasons, I will be not be staying at my current place for next semester. Seems that my current 2 housemates have other plans. I am upset, not upset to the fact I gotta move out, but upset at the fact that we actually started this home of ours from scratch and I pay much effort to what it is today.

Well though it's still quite a crappy house, but least Yours Sincerely tried ok.

Anyway I am kinda excited to move out too. New housemates! Hope that I can get ang moh housemates this time. Need to show them how friendly Singaporeans are. Especially considering Yours Sincerely is a True Singaporean At Heart.

And who knows? I may make them awe in amazement to see me whipping up some meals for them.

Awe in amazement as in them, my new housemates, exclaiming in pure surprise "CANT SINGAPOREANS COOK A DECENT MEAL?!" :(

Anyway thanks for the fact I have an abundant amount of time before I fly back home after my exams, I can least manage to settle more stuff before I head home and take a final look at my house.

And of course, I must give a million thanks to the Dwarfs for letting me bunk in at their hut when school reopens. Till I find a new place to shift into.

Of course, being good Dwarfs, they will not charge me any rental fee at all for being their Sofa Master. But they said that instead of paying rent, they shall take random turns on poking my backside every night.

I am so dead....

But least now I know why have they been eyeing on my butt for the past 4 months. Tsk.


The worst taint is ignorance. Destroy this one taint and become taintless. - Buddha

Grrrr....

I hate this. I hate writing reports.

I was writing my report halfway, well technically speaking it's just 4 lines, and I got stuck for 1 hour. I am squeezing precious brain juice yet have no idea how to continue with my report.

Therefore I diverted my attention to writing my blog instead. Its less brain juice sapping. Its easier to crap over here.

It satisfies my imagination of seeing so many lines written out as compared to my miserable 4 lines in my report. Haiz~

And guess what? I am also running out idea on what to blog.

Oh ya, suddenly remember something. Read from my friend's msn nick that during Mid Autumn Festival the full moon was blocked by the haze.

WHAT a pity. The moon looks so nice in Australia. No haze to block it. Tsk. Sianz loh. The streets so bright because of the moonlight. Want to use Harry's torchlight to shine the ground also no point. So bright here.

Want to smell some haze in Australia also cannot. Hope the windows in my room back in Singapore are closed. I dont want to smell anything nasty when I go back for my holidays.

Oh moon is bright today again.

No wait, I see some haze.


Oops sorry, there are just clouds. Sianz, no haze here :(

Grin~

Remember that time when I said I had a presentation?

I got back my results on how I fared that day. Grin~

Among the group of people (90% angmohs) that presented that day, I scored 2nd highest. Just 0.4 marks difference from the highest. Grin~

I shall self-proclaimed that day to be a day when 4 million Singaporeans shall rejoice, again. I did my country proud. Grin~

I knew my lame jokes are internationally recognised. Singlish RULES BIG TIME!

Now that's another skill to add to my resume. Grin~

And this morning, I received a parcel sent to me specially from Singapore. It was a cream for cracked heel. Courtesy of *cough cough someone. Happy... Grin~

Today is a grinning day. And to top it off my grinning day, I bought pizza for dinner today. Grin~

How I wish everyday is a grinning day.

Advertising For Jobs From Dec 06 to Feb 07

I would like to advertise for jobs.

I am hardworking, I am a fast learner, I am not a gay.

I dont require much pay, perhaps just enough to make me sustain my daily lifestyles. I shall enclose a resume of myself. Interested employers please leave a message.

I will take any jobs ranging from waiters to masseurs to gigolos to part-time boyfriend.

Personal Particulars

Name: Hong Ziqiang

Gender: Male

Race: Mixed Chinese (Malaysian Chinese + Singapore Chinese)

Email: zinesta@hotmail.com

Marital Status: Single

Date of Birth: 23/09/1983

Age: 23

Religion: Buddhism (Open Minded)

Nationality: Mixed (Malaysian + Singaporean)

Language Written: English, Singlish, Chinese

Language Spoken: Singlish, Ang Moh English, Mandarin, Hokkien, Cantonese

Date Of Availability: Dec 06 - Feb 07

Educational Background

University Of Queensland: Currently still praying I pass studying hard.

Singapore Polytechnic: Diploma in Mechanical Engineering and obtained 2 Distinctions of which both are not related to Mechanical Engineering at all.

Yishun Town Sec Sch: GCE "O" Level Stream.

Northland Primary Sch: Bluff my way through 6 years of study.

Achievements

Spelling Champion for Sec 2. Only 6 person participated. Of which 5 I bribe with my pocket money. The other one was retarded.

Past Working Experience

Waiter for most of my life.

Part time telemarketeer. What I do is just make nuisance calls and smile when they scold me Kan Ni Nah or Chao Chee Bye.

Specialist when I entered army. My turn to scold people Kan Ni Nah and Chao Chee Bye and they can only smile back at me.

Customer Service Executive at a certain place.

Computer Knowledge and Skills

Computer Knowledge:

Able to find the best porn sites in the minimum amount of time given.

Equipped with skills to draw a naked woman various artifacts using Adobe Photoshop.

Microsoft Excel, Words, Powerpoint, Blogspot.Com

Skills:

Able to scold people in a minimum amount of time to make them have the thought of jumping down 12th storey.

Able to smile when people scold me vulgarities that makes normal people have the thought of jumping down 12th storey.

Attentive and gossip a lot informative about things happening around.

The Art Of Sheep Counting

As much as I like to sleep, there are of course endless numbers of nights which I lie on the bed. And for what feels like an eternity, but I just cant get to sleep.

I believe 10 out of 10 people encounter difficult sleeps. And up till now, different people must have different ways of making themselves fall to sleep. Some believe staring into space will help, some believe reciting Na-Mo-Orh-Me-Tuo-Fuo over and over again will help.

I for one, uses the Art of Sheep Counting when I cant get to sleep.

Trust me, it's serious shit that counting sheeps isnt easy at all. It requires skills. But luckily, you know that I am a True Singaporean At Heart and therefore I am equipped with fucking-the-not-bad-sheep-counting-skills.

Counting sheeps is an art. People complain that it is not an efficient way to get yourself to sleep.

You can count halfway and then lost count of where you counted till. In the end you spend so much trouble thinking where you lost that sheep and you became more awake.

A normal sheep counting normally goes like this "...... 132.... 133..... 135....."

Hey where the fuck did the 134th sheep went off to?

I for one, take special interest in counting sheeps. It has become so fun that I, actually make it a habit of counting sheeps nowadays.

And I take pride on the fact that 2 days ago, I broke my personal record of counting till 655 sheeps.

I stopped counting the 656th sheep not because I fell asleep. But because it was just damn tiring counting them.

And I reckon my farm is too packed with 655 sheeps.

Nonetheless, I seek to break my record of 655 sheeps in days to come.

But actually I was hoping I wont break my record.

Or not it will appear quite obvious to people I really have no life in Australia :(

If Qiang Can Cook, So Can You!

When I 1st arrived here, I was not really technically equipped with fucking-the-not-bad-cooking-skills.

But I do therotically have some basic knowledge on what goes into the food thanks to my many years of fooling around and messing with my mother's cooking.

Being a fucking miser True Singaporean At Heart, I hardly eat out here in Australia as cooking myself is wayyyyy much cheaper. I can eat 3 meals at home compared to a single meal outside.

So after this few months, I am a bit confident to say that my culinary skills have improved a bit. I believe that if even a guy like me can know how to cook, so can you!

Now, I shall post a recipe from my family's recipe book called the "Qiang's Finest Cuisine Made By Idiots". This book shall be passed on for generations.

From me to my kid, to my kid's kid, to my kid's kid's kid, to my kid's kid's kid's kid, to my......


Now I shall post my 1st secret recipe, I name it: 强式肉碎杂酱面

Ingredients

- Salt (Aga aga yourself)

- Oyster sauce (Aga age yourself)

- Black Bean Sauce *Important. Star of the meal (Aga aga yourself)

- Onions (Australia has fucking huge onions. So I use 1 normally. But prepare for a farting session after meal)

- Black soy sauce (Aga aga yourself)

- Potatoe starch (Aga aga yourself)

- Noodles (Maggi Mee type is best)

- Sesame Oil

- Mince Meat (Non halal if you dont want to share with your muslim friends. Tsk)

- Chopped green & red capsicums (Aga aga yourself)

- Finely chopped garlic (Good for detoxing your body)

Step 1: Boil the noodles until you dont feel like eating Ma-Mee when chewing on them.

Step 2: Drain off water. After draining, immediately rinse with cold water. Dont ask why, just follow. Add lots of sesame oil into it and stir thoroughly. Throw the pot of noodle to one side for time being.

Step 3: Fry the garlic. Of course to do that you must 1st having a frying pan. Heat the pan and then put in some vegetable oil. Fry the garlic till it's light brown. Dont fry to the extent of dark brown. Dont be an idiot. If you cant differentiate colours, my advice will be never attempt to step into the kitchen.

Step 4: Throw in your mince meat. Stir fry till you feel its edible.

Step 5: Throw in your onions. And just in case you are an idiot, I never mention sliced onion doesnt mean you throw the whole fucking onion in it. Slice it first.

Step 6: Take out everything and put at one side first. (Normally I skip this step cause I am lazy.)

Step 7: Stir fried the capsicums till its slightly chao-ta and then throw in your mince meat, onions and garlic earlier on if you follow Step 6. Anyway for goodness sake, Step 6 doesnt make any difference. You should skip it.

Step 8: Pour in your black bean sauce, oyster sauce and salt. Pour in some water too. Not too much water. Aga aga yourself.

Step 9: Leave to boil. Once boil, put the potatoe starch in a bowl and add some water to it. Stir till everything dissolves. Next, slowly pour the mixture into your gravy. Stir CONSTANTLY! Cause if you dont, you will discover big lumps of shit in it later on. For your information, the starch is to thicken the sauce.

Step 10: Put the noodles you cooked earlier on your plate. Pour gravy on top of noodles and WA LA, your 强式肉碎杂酱面 is done.

Step 11: Check you have close the fire.

My Another First Time

Today is another day for 4 million people to rejoice. I got my 1st hair cut in Australia.

Stepped into the "Uni Salon" that is situated in my campus with a heavy heart. I was nervous. I took another look at my hair in the mirror cause who knows, 10 min later I may leave the saloon with a Valderrama hair.

Australians like to open a conversation with anybody "Hows it going?"
Basically what they meant was to ask how is your day.

Anyway I remember the 1st time I heard this was when I was taking a bus to a local shopping center and the bus driver greeted me with this Hows it going thingy.

I paused for a while then replied.... "Duh.. By bus?"

Ok anyway back to the saloon. As I was saying, I took a final look at my hair in the mirror before I was shown to a seat.

"Hows it going?"

I am not so stupid this time.

"Oh my day was great. And it is further delightened when I know I am going to get my hair cut by you."

Just in case you got mistaken, I wasnt trying to hook her up or something. Just some conversation skills I horned up here in Australia.

Back in Singapore, getting a haircut was easy. Say "slope and cut a bit hair here and there" and Singaporean barbers will understand.

But here, after she greeted me with Hows it going, she followed by a sentence of clippers or scissors?

What the fuck? I thought they come together. Luckily being a True Singaporean At Heart, I was equipped with fucking-the-not-bad-situation-analysis skills so I figured out her clippers must be refering to whether I want a slope and scissors means I jus want to have a normal side.

I chose scissors. No clippers I told her.

Oh by the way, I forgot to mention I specially wore my daily disposable contact lenses instead of glasses today for this hair cutting occasion.

Because at least if my hair was to end up like Valderrama, I wanted to at least witness the whole process of how it ended up like him.

Well in case you dont know, I have quite a high degree of myopia and I cant see no shit without my glasses.

Throughout the cutting of my hair, she will keep asking me questions like Oh so you want cut it this way or that way, so is this length ok, so you want cut the fringe and etc...

So at the end of the day, my hair was like something which I designed myself.



For those friends who dont know me well, just want to tell you that, me, Yours Sincerely, is fucking bad at designing things :(

The Puzzle Of Chicken Breast

Back in Singapore, its common knowledge to know that chicken wings and drumsticks are actually much more expensive than chicken breast.

Reason is cause, a bloody chicken has only two wings and drumsticks but has a fucking big breast. Plus, some people, like me, finds chicken breast taste like shit cause its unbelieveably dry and hard.

That's why you can imagine my joy when I discover over here in Australia, things are different. One kg of chicken breast can cause round AUD 15 but one kg of wings or drumsticks is only round AUD 2.50.

The only reason I can think of is cause maybe Australians find chicken breast nicer.

And back in Singapore, there was an old legend regarding chicken.
Most people who likes to eat chicken breast are people who are lazy.

Guess what, Australians love chicken breast.

Perhaps...

Wee u wee~!

Finally I am blogging again tsk. It was holidays this week. This means I can stay away from school for one week. But I dont know why I stayed away from blogging for 1 week also.
Perhaps.....

No matter how long holidays are, I never seem to find them enough. Especially when I foresee the things that need to be completed once school reopens, it just burns the little glimmer of fire in me.
Perhaps.....

However, looking at the calendar, the little glimmer of fire aspires to burn stronger. Bit shorter than 2 months, and Yours Sincerely will be back in Singapore. Just cant stop putting that smile on my face away.
Perhaps.....

I have scheduled a fully fun filled packed adrenaline rushing 1 week package once I reached Singapore. Its so fun filled packed that it brought a bigger smile to my face when I looked at it after completing.
Perhaps.....

It would include a 7 days eating spree. Yes that's correct. I am going to indulge all of my 7 days in makan, makan, and non stop makan. I miss Singapore food siah~
Perhaps.....

All right, seems that I took a break for too long. Not quite sure on what to blog right now. Think I better go do my maths now. This is screwed.
Perhaps.....


Perhaps..... I am 23 now....

The Greatest Day, Ever Since Mankind

Today is the 23rd of September, 2006.

23 years ago on this very day, a man was born; a great man.....

That great man is, non other then, *cough cough Yours Sincerely.

As I was saying earlier on, I had dinner at Dwarfs' Hut yesterday.

Dinner was good.

Dinner was fantastic.

Dinner was world-class.

Dinner was impeccable.

Dinner was cooked by Yours Sincerely.

Hehe~

So today, not wanting to spend the rest of the greatest day ever since mankind at home, I decided to go city walk walk with the dwarfs. What kind of birthday is it to stay the greatest day ever since mankind at home? Bored~

So now I am blogging away, all done, all set, make-up all put on, waiting for the time to reach before I head to the park near me to take the CityCat (ferry).

Eve Of The Greatest Day Ever Since Mankind

Before I blabber on the keyboard, perhaps you guys still remember on the incident that happen round a month ago?

The Dwarfs thought it was my birthday then, so they installed a pleasant surprise for me. It was such a surprise it nearly woke my grandma up from the grave.

Since tomorrow will be the greatest day ever since mankind, I decided to whip some dishes for my friends over here. I definitely wouldnt want to spend greatest day ever since mankind alone at home.

Although tomorrow then will be the actual day of the greatest day ever since mankind, I am one of those few people who actually prefer celebrating things on the eve itself; rather than the actual day.

The reason why I am blogging away now instead of indulging myself on preparing the dinner for the greatest day ever since mankind is of course due to the reason I am done with the preparations. Just waiting for the time to come before I start cooking using my therotically-not-bad-but-technically-like-fuck cooking.

Just a coincidence, exactly 1 year ago, I celebrated the greatest day ever since mankind on a foreign land too. Never to think that one year later, I will still be celebrating on a foreign land. I miss celebrating with my friends, and of course once certain special someone.

Guess what, next year most probably I will be celebrating the greatest day ever since mankind over here too.

I miss the days when I celebrate the greatest day ever since mankind with satays, carrot cakes and all the True Singaporean At Heart food on my table.....

The Day My Balls Grew Big Big

I always love presentations. Love, as in I am at the recieving end listening to presentations, and not the one giving presentations. I hate giving presentations. It makes me nervous and endless nights of unable to sleep.

My 1st time giving presentation was inevitably in polytechnic. It was then when I realise I dont like fucking detest giving presentations. It is just not my nature to talk infront of people. It makes my balls shrink.

Back then, I presented to Singaporeans. Though I was nervous, I did farely well cause I can talk lame True Singaporean jokes during presentations. It calms me down, it makes my audience laugh. The people at the recieving end were Singaporeans. They understand lame True Singaporean jokes.

Today, I had another presentation. To ang mohs.

As usual, I thought my balls will shrink. Guess what, days before my presentation, I really had the feeling I am shrinking.

Will ang mohs understand what I am talking? Will ang mohs understand my lame True Singaporean jokes? Will I tee-tee-ta-ti-tu infront of ang mohs?

But nonetheless, Yours Sincerely always rise to any occasions I face. I upgraded my jokes to lame Internationally Recognised jokes. I managed to force a few laughter from my audience. It calms me, it indirectly pumps fluid to my balls, making my balls bigger. I was not that nervous.

Now, I have conquered Singaporeans and ang mohs. I feel so happy. I feel so glad that I have finished my presentation.



But still, I hate presentations....

Wondering

There are times, when I lie on the bed before I sleep, I will be thinking on how fast things has moved for me. From primary school, to secondary school, to polytechnic, to NS, and finally to Australia.

To be honest, I have certainly got more accustomed to life in Australia, and along the way picking up bits and pieces of the puzzle to fit myself back to being a "Student", again.

I remember how much I was struggling during my inital few weeks here. Sometimes at night, I would sit alone outside my house and think back on my life and why the fuck am I here in Australia.

Sitting alone outside thinking about these stuffs are stupid. But sitting alone outside with a cigeratte in my hand is a different thing. That's why it was when I realise how attached I was to smoking.

I was never a hardcore smoker. A 20-stick pack could normally last me 2 to 3 days back in Singapore. Now I have drastically cut down on that to maybe 3 or 4 sticks per day.

I knew my Try To Quit Smoking Campaign has failed. But I didnt regret. Cause "smoking" itself has become my best companion throughout my stay here in Australia.

I know my peers are encouraging me to quit. I really appreciated that. But take it as I am finding an excuse or what, I cant imagine life in Australia without smoking.

Everytime I feel vexed after studying, I would stop whatever I am doing and take a puff outside. It ALWAYS helps.

I cant imagine my life in Australia without cigerattes. It will be like I am robbed of the only stress-relieve-entertainment I have.

Anyway, I dont really think an occasional smoke or two is that bad. Especially when its not like I am taking Subutex (Is this what they call it?) or any form of drugs right?

So as of now, I have decided to postpone my Try to Quit Smoking Campaign till further dates.

I may not have quit smoking.
But least I have cut down on smoking.

Cause cigerattes are fucking expensive here! :(

The Tale About The Dog II

I envy my neighbour's dog. Not only is it just revolving around eat, shit and sleep in its life, it is not required to do a whole lot more things.

It doesnt need to do reports (endless just to make it worse).

It doesnt need to wreak its brains out thinking how to do slides for presentation which are due on monday.

It doesnt need to worry about submitting an assignment which is due on monday.

It doesnt need to worry about cooking what for dinner.

It doesnt need to worry that the room is getting messier.

It doesnt need to worry the bills are due soon.

It doesnt need to worry on what it is going to be in future. (An engineer dog, an accountant dog, a policedog, a firedog, a nurse dog or a doctor dog)

And most importantly, it doesnt need to worry on gaining weight :(

I hate dogs.

The Tale About The Dog

Sometimes, I am really fed up with life. Fed up with the constant need of upgrading yourself, fed up with the need to constantly submitting my assignments (as what I am doing now).

At times like these, I really envy my neighbour's dog. All it does is sleep, eat and shit.

How great. How wonderful. I also wish I was a dog my life would consist of eat, shit and sleep only.

Hop into any supermarket in Australia, and you will see one row of food catered just for dogs. Their canned food looks more tastier. For over 23 years, I always have this constant thought of trying one mouth of their canned food.

Just for that one single time. But of course, I didnt have the balls to do it. Call me loser...

But if you dare, then give yourself a clap.

Somehow these days, I wished I was a dog my life can be better than a dog. Eat, sleep and shit. Not to forget sex Tsk.

*Ruff Ruff

The Thing About Xiaxue

People often tell me on how nice Xiaxue's blog is. I read it sometimes but not on a regular basis cause personally I find it ok only. Nothing against her, it's just my personal preference. I prefer those links that are on my right cause I find them lot more interesting.

But still, I got nothing against Xiaxue cause I think she is just being herself. Its realli fine.

But I read her latest update(Sept 12) on the 9/11 thingy and regarding Steve Irwin. I guess this will be 1st time I am saying this, but she is really one big..... damn I cant find the word.

Is there really a need to say things till "the way" she wrote them? It shows just how ignorant she is. I mean her style of writing is totally realli fine. Emphasizing on just being herself irregardless of what people says.

But her latest entry somehow trigger something in me. Never mind. I just cant find the word.

Why should I worry about her? I got my upcoming reports to worry on more. Tsk.

Cheebye~

Something about my hair

When I was young, I didnt really care much about my hair. I always prefer to keep it short. Its neat, its tidy. Well, at least this short hair part came after my 1st hairstyle of Extreme Left Handside Hair Parting.

The 1st time when I decided to do some "changes" to my hair was when I reached 12 years old. The memories still haunt me till now. I permed my hair for the 1st time; and only time. I was nicknamed "Samosa Hair" for the rest of my 12 years old.

Eventually my hair manage to straighten back to its usual style just before I entered my new seondary school and did it make me feel glad. I wouldnt want to scare the shit impress my new classmates on my 1st day of school. Kept my hair short and neat again for 1 year before I again, backside itchy decided to do some changes to it.

Left my hair to grow till those long & flowy type cause it was the In-Thing then. I had a centre parting and the fact that I was born with a 美人尖 (my hair had a M shape infront) helped much in keeping my parting neat. Note that though it was called 美人尖, I was not in anyway classified as pretty.

It would be more insulting than calling me cute (Ugly but adorable).

My hair then was the longest I had till even today. But soon, it was getting kind of irritating. Fucking irritating. Irritating as in whenever I tilt my head infront a bit, my fringe would fall off and irritate me when I am already irritated enough.

The final blow came one fine day when I was eating laksa. Apparently my fringe got hungry too and decided to dip itself into the laksa that I was eating.

I had enough. I thought to myself.

So Mr Me With Long & Flowy Hair lasted for only 2 years++. Cut it shortly after my 'O' Levels.

Watching my hair being cut off by the hair dresser was painful. Though I must admit they are irrtating, but still they have been with me for 2 years++.

So the old me appeared, the old me with short hair. I liked it that way. Playing soccer wasnt a hassle and I could even skip the morning bath without looking like Valderrama when I go to Poly.

From then on, I make it a point to visit my barber on a monthly basis. Short hair has a price to pay too. When it gets long, I look like a walking human with lion's mane. Therefore in order for ladies at Orchard Road not to eeeek at me, I had to maintain it monthly. Though in actual fact they already eeeek at me even if I cut my hair.

When I entered army, I was the one of those few who had no need to shave my head, cause as it is, it is already short enough :)

Hairstyle in army is the typical gong-gong-toot-toot-short-short type. So no need to elaborate much on that.

After I left army, I actually maintained my gong-gong-toot-toot-short-short type hair style. My friends and once-certain-special-someone kept complaining on how toot my hair looks and keep demanding suggesting on new hair styles I should adopt.

I paid no attention cause I thought I look cool. Tsk.
But least it was really a hassle-free hairstyle. And most importantly is I didnt have to share my laksa with my fringe. I continue visiting the barber on a monthly basis.

Somehow or rather, 6 months after I ORD(dec 05), I eventually had another urge to change my hairstyle again. It was when I started growing my hair. Of course not to the extent of being Mr Me With Long & Flowy Hair, but perhaps something shorter than it.

So now here I am blogging away with my longer hair. It has been 3 months since I visited the barber. One thing is because I am in Australia and cutting of hair here is really expensive. But the main thing is cause I have seen friends who visited the barber here.

They walk in with nice stylish hair but come out looking as if they are growing Christmas Tree on their head. How not to scared?

I believe one fine day which is nor far away, I will still visit the barber here cause my hair is getting kind of irritating. But not so soon, I shall wait a while more. If not, I may wait till I go back to Singapore for holidays in 3 months time.

But can my hair wait till then? I shall see. Tsk.

I Knew I was Cool

Merdeka Night

Now at Dwarfs' Hut after a night of disturbed sleep at their couch. Had nothing except a thin MAS (Malaysia Airline) blanket which they stole borrowed from the plane. If that didnt make me more cold, the rain last night certainly did.

Took lots of pictures yesterday night. Will be updating when i reached home later. Stay tuned folks~~

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I was having a relatively good sleep before I was awaken by the constant blowing of the fucking trumpet from my next door neighbours.

Trust me, as much as I have a relatively not-bad temper, there are 2 situations in life which will get me rather pissed off and grumpy.

1st is if I get interrupted from my sleep.

2nd is if you interrupt me from my sleep.

And to top it off, I was hungry. Did you folks heard of the saying? A hungry man IS, my friends, an angry man.

I shoved my blanket to one side, wore my slippers and marched my way out to the next door where the musical notes now seems to form its own shape infront of me.

I stood infront my neighbour's door and raised my feet.

I walked away. I remember my neighbour was an Australian 2 times my size. Though I was angry, I wasnt stupid. I was technically aware of the disadvantages I faced.

Whipped myself a simple meal of maggi mee before I sit down infront of my laptop now blogging away on the night which I much enjoyed yesterday.

Before you proceed on, did I mention that I took lots of pictures? Yup I did took quite a lot of pictures. But I didn't say I will be posting them up. Tsk.

I kinda look forward to the dinner cause they will be babes good food and live band performances which happens to be, my friends. And most importantly, I might be able to impress some chicks with my smart outfit.

Nope, I didnt wear suits of Captain Jack Sparrow or Superman. I just wore simple office clothes. But least it looks smarter compared to my usual uni. wears.

Oh by the way, I havent mention what was this dinner all about right? Pardon me, I just woke up. The dinner was so-called Merdeka Night. It was some sort of celebration of national day for Malaysia.

No you didnt see wrongly. It was national day celebration for Malaysia.

So what was a Singaporean like me doing there?

In case you didnt know, I have mixed blood. My father's a Malaysian (Singapore resident now) and my mother's a Singaporean. That makes me mixed :)

Dinner was in buffet style and boy did I enjoyed it. It really makes that money that burnt a hole in my pocket well spent. It's been sometimes since I ate nice authentic asian food. There were Sweet & Sour Fish, Satay Chicken, Curry Kembing and many others more. But most importantly, there was one dish called Singapore Fried Noodles.

Wo, now this is a 1st step to harmony between Singapore and Malaysia. I thought. Fancy having a Singapore-named food at a Malaysia celebration.

The so-called Singapore Fried Noodles turned out to taste disgustingly awful. Soon, people at my table were saying how awful this Singapore Fried Noodles is, how tasteless Singapore Fried Noodles is. Being the only Singaporean at the dinner. I think you should understand how I feel.

Next time, I shall hold a celebration for Singapore and make a dish call Malaysia Fried Rice. You know what I will do to the fried rice right? Tsk.

Dinner itself was coupled with series of performance. My favourite was of course seeing the bands perform. Both bands happen to be my friends or at least aquaintance. They could sing really well and were really natural performers.

Highlight of the night was when the actual event itself was over but most of the guys still stayed back to rock with the band. We all swamped to the front and started with our partying.

Dont worry, I didnt dance. Ducks dont dance. I just swayed with the rhythm.

Ended the fun night with my 1st watching of English Premier League at the Smurfs' Lodging. Neighbours of the dwarfs.

Arsenal drew 1 - 1. KanNiNahBeh Turban

Heart Warming Story

I chanced upon this story while reading the entry of a fellow blogger, Zhebin. This story certainly touched me. I decided to post this story up here cause I believe it will touch many too. Enjoy mates~


"When You Divorce Me, Carry Me Out In Your Arms"

On my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms. The bridal car stopped in front of our one-room flat. My buddies insisted that I carry her out of the car in my arms. So I carried her into our home. She was then plump and shy. I was a strong and happy bridegroom.

This was the scene of ten years ago.

The following days were as simple as a cup of pure water: we had a kid, I went into business and tried to make more money. When the assets were steadily increasing, the affections between us seemed to ebb. She was a civil servant. Every morning we left home together and got home almost at the same time. Our kid was studying in a boarding school. Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy. But the calm life was more likely to be affected by unpredictable changes.

Dew came into my life. It was a sunny day. I stood on a spacious balcony. Dew hugged me from behind. My heart once again was immersed in her stream of love. This was the apartment I bought for her. Dew said, You are the kind of man who best draws girls eyeballs. Her words suddenly reminded me of my wife. When we just married, my wife said, Men like you, once successful, will be very attractive to girls.

Thinking of this, I became somewhat hesitant. I knew I had betrayed my wife.But I couldn't help doing so. I moved Dew's hands aside and said, You go to select some furniture. O.K.? I've got something to do in the company. Obviously she was unhappy, because I had promised her to go and see with her.

At the moment, the idea of divorce became clearer in my mind although it used to be something impossible to me. However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife about it. No matter how mildly I mentioned it to her, she would be deeply hurt. Honestly, she was a good wife. Every evening she was busy preparing dinner. I was sitting in front of the TV.The dinner was ready soon. Then we watched TV together. Or, I was lounging before the computer, visualizing Dew's body. This was the means of my entertainment.

One day I said to her in a slight joking way, suppose we divorce, what will you do? She stared at me for a few seconds without a word. Apparently she believed that divorce was something too far away from her. I couldn't imagine how she would react once she got to know I was serious.

When my wife went to my office, Dew had just stepped out. Almost all the staff looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye and tried to hide something while talking with her. She seemed to have got some hint. She gently smiled at my subordinates. But I read some hurt in her eyes. Once again, Dew said to me, He Ning, divorce her, O.K.? Then we live together. I nodded.

I knew I could not hesitate any more. When my wife served the last dish, I held her hand. I've got something to tell you, I said. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want to divorce. I raised a serious topic calmly. She didn't seem to be much annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I'm serious. I avoided her question.

This so-called answer turned her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! . At that night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer, because my heart had gone to Dew.

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. I felt a pain in my heart. The woman who had been living ten years with me would become a stranger one day. But I could not take back what I had said. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer.

A late night, I came back home after entertaining my clients. I saw her writing something at the table.I fell asleep fast. When I woke up, I found she was still there. I turned over and was asleep again. She brought up her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but I was supposed to give her one month's time before divorce, and in the months time we must live as normal life as possible.

Her reason was simple: our son would finish his summer vacation a month later and she didn't want him to see our marriage was broken. She passed me the agreement she drafted, and then asked me, He Ning, do you still remember how I entered our bridal room on the wedding day?

This question suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories to me. I nodded and said, I remember. You carried me in your arms , she continued, so, I have a requirement, that is, you carry me out in your arms on the day when we divorce. From now to the end of this month, you must carry me out from the bedroom to the door every morning. I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those sweet days and wished to end her marriage with a romantic form.

I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she does, she has to face the result of divorce, she said scornfully. Her words more or less made me feel uncomfortable. My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. We even treated each other as a stranger.

So when I carried her out for the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly, Let us start from today, don't tell our son. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for bus, I drove to office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily.She leaned on my chest. We were so close that I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this intimate woman carefully for a long time. I found she was not young any more. There were some fine wrinkles on her face.

On the third day, she whispered to me. The outside garden is being demolished. Be careful when you pass there.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to feel that we were still an intimate couple and I was holding my sweetheart in my arms. The visualization of Dew became vaguer.

On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me something, such as, where she put the ironed shirts, I should be careful while cooking, etc. I nodded.

The sense of intimacy was even stronger. I didn't tell Dew about this. I felt it was easier to carry her. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. I said to her, It seems not difficult to carry you now. She was picking her dresses. I was waiting to carry her out. She tried quite a few but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, All my dresses have grown fatter. I smiled.

But I suddenly realized that it was because she was thinner that I could carry her more easily, not because I was stronger. I knew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart. Again, I felt a sense of pain. Subconsciously I reached out a hand to touch her head.

Our son came in at the moment. Dad, it s time to carry mum out. He said.To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had been an essential part of his life. She gestured our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face because I was afraid I would change my mind at the last minute.

I held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly, as if we came back to our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad.

On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. She said, Actually I hope you will hold me in your arms until we are old. I held her tightly and said, Both you and I didn't notice that our life was lack of such intimacy. I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my decision.

I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door.I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I won't divorce. I'm serious. She looked at me, astonished. Then she touched my forehead. You got no fever. She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I can only say sorry to you, I wont divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of life, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I understand that since I carried her into the home, she gave birth to our child, I am supposed to hold her until I am old. So I have to say sorry to you.

Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into cry.I walked downstairs and drove to the office. When I passed the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet for my wife which was her favorite. The salesgirl asked me to write the greeting words on the card.

I smiled and wrote, "I'll carry you out every morning until we are old".

When I was just a little boy..

When I was just a little boy, I used to.....

- hate the fact that I was blessed with a big head. I even had a song for my blessed head.

- hate bean curd. Who in the right mind will eat something so soft and tasteless? Other than my not-in-right-mind friends.

- drink from milk bottle till I was 5 6 7 years old.

- play those 20 cents machine where you put in the money into a slot then turn and turn till a round container drops out. My favourite was the small little ball which could bounce so high. I once deliberately accidentally threw 2 balls from my corridor down to see whether they can bounced back to where I am. I lived on 12th floor.

- buy stupid things from my primary school bookshop. Out of my achievements was the pointer. It was like a pen but could be extended into 6 ttimes its length. I was fascincated by form teacher using it. It felt like Zorro wielding his sword. But when I bought it back home and look at myself in the mirror with my sword, I look like Barney wielding a corn.

- watch cartoons. Countless ones. The best part was my TV was kinda old then. So everytime when it reached the exciting part, it will go blank suddenly and I had to kick knock on my TV to set it working again. My favourites were He-Man, Centurions, chinese cartoon featuring a yellow car looking for his mother entitled "笨笨", Thundercats, Transformers, GI Joes.

- once bought a Polly Pocket. I wasnt thinking really well that time. But I never like guys before.

- have this blanket with me that I used for so long and I never washed it before. I reluctantly threw it away when it could only covered my waist to toes.

- be so fat and have a big head. I looked like a ball. 3 balls in fact, my head, my body and my legs.

- fail my running everytime. Fat people just cant run; or so I thought. But now, *cough cough.
Try me. I will give you advantage of 2 lamp posts.

- be with TAF Club since I entered Primary School. I thought only special selected people was chosen. But only realised in Primary 2 that ya I was right. Special people were selected. The special people were all fat. No wonder I was thinking why I saw so many "me" in the club.

- go hang around the video shop below my house everyday talking with people like 30 years old. Ya I was that friendly. Friendly till once the shop assistant from the herbal shop beside pull my pants down in the open. He must be fascinated in my willy.

- hated my Primary 6 class. Well hated is too strong a word. I should phrase it as among my 6 years, that was the least happiest class I been too. But luckily, I made a group of 4 more friends from a neighbouring class. So though I was in the least happiest class, it was my happiest year :)

- order those small packets of milk which came weekly. And we could like sort of open it in classroom to drink. I even ordered those newspaper which was kinda fun to read. I forgot the name of it.

- play netball. I once tore the top which had written my position at the front. I remember my position was "WA". The reason why I remember it till today was cause W and A was seperated from each other at the end of my game.

- love playing hopscotch, one-leg and something similar to baseball. But instead of a baseball, we throw a tennis ball in the ground and opponent will kick it. We broke office window once.

- shit in my pants during school. It was devastating. I tarik my shit till cannot tahan and I rushed to toilet. But before I could take off my blue colour shorts, Mr Shit came out and greeted me hello. In the end, I was stuck in toilet till my class found out I didnt return to class. They informed my parents to come and bring new shorts for me. I dont know how I managed to get the face to return to class.

- got scolded once jialat jialat in Primary 6 by MRS B*H~! cheebye I forgot what I do. But certainly it wasnt that jialat till she forced me to pack my bag and GO HOME~! I packed my stuff and was standing outside classroom crying. And I waited outside the classroom all the while.
Till now I am wondering why did I cry and most importantly, why didnt I go home? I wished I can go back to the past so I can relive that scenario once more. I would have gone home and tell her how big her legs are. If that didnt make her cry, I would say her legs are even bigger than my head. Think that will give her the blow.

- drop my bicycle key into the toilet bowl while I was shitting, again in school. It was those squatting type. Since I had no spare key, you cant expect me to flush my shit away before I pick up my key from the toilet bowl right? Well, so you can guess what I did next, no need to elaborate.

- tear my pants umpteen times. I forgot how many times also. Now you know why my mother is so good at sewing stuff. She was well-trained by me.

- comb my hair in a side-parting manner. The cut off line was just 4 cm above my left ear. I also always tuck my shirt in wherever I go. I thought I looked cool.

- be shy when it comes to liking girls. I never dare to let them know I had a liking for them.

- decided to style my hair a bit. Went to the hairdresser and pointed at the hairstyle of one suave looking guy from the magazine. But end result was I ended with a hairstyle which for the entire Primary 6 life I was laughed by people as Guy With Curly Samosa Hair. (Right Mr Liu Yao Wen?)

In summary, I was just a normal little boy...

Harry On MC

Harry is sick since morning.

His back wheel suddenly just went punctured. I thought,"Damn~! Must be the bloody Uncle Toby's bar which I ate yesterday night."

I asked the doctor at UQ how much he charge for changing the rubber on Harry's back tire. He said he would charge me AUD20.

AUD20?! Did I hear wrong? Just the rubber itself cost AUD6 and you are charging me 14 bucks extra just for your service? I ask him go fly kite.

So faithfully I went to city to buy the rubber for Harry.

Headed to the Dwarfs' Hut where I left my bicyle cause Mr Chinese Who Cant Speak Chinese was forced by me volunteered to help me change the rubber.

After 10 min of work or so, Harry was fine; or so I thought.

So at around 530pm, I locked up Harry at the Dwarfs' Garage before I head to their place for a wonderful dinner. Authentic Mother's Cooking.

The reason I said Authentic Mother's Cooking was cause Mr Malay Who Grew Pubic Hair On His Head's parents were here in Brisbane on a holiday and tomorrow they will be flying back. So I was invited over for dinner.

Food cooked by mothers are really just different from cooking by young punks like us. No matter how nice our cooking are, we just lack that bit of something.

After dinner-activities were just chit chatting and so on. At round 11pm when I was about to leave, I went to the garage to pick up Harry.

To my fucking much dismay, its back tire was punctured again. I was fucking sianz. So it wasnt the Uncle Toby from yesterday night after all.

So now I suspect there must be something sharp that may be stuck in my wheel. So tomorrow I going to head down to buy another rubber. I would hope to solve it myself instead of sending it to the doctor which charge things so expensive.

Pray tomorrow Harry will recover.

Something Big About This Weekend

If I am mathetically not wrong, think its been quite sometime since I didnt blog for a consecutive 3 days. This weekend was kinda fast for me, cause it was exceptionally fun filled?

Well it may not be really that fun filled, but least it was sorta different from my other week ends over here previously.

Brisbane held a festival on Saturday. It was called River Festival if I am not wrong. Basically it's quite a big event where they show off display their skills on handling fireworks, creativity and a show case of their huge ass of money to buy so much fireworks by setting up fireworks on the river.

Think the festival has been so popular with the local Brisbaners that as early as 12pm, they were already people setting up camps to grab the best views to see the fireworks even though the show only starts at 7pm.

Guess what? For a moment I thought they were SINGAPOREANS~!

CityCat aka river ferry service was closed early in the afternoon so as to faciliate the fireworks later on in the evening. In the end, me and some of the dwarfs gotta rush like mad to Southbank where the event will be held.

The reason why we were late was due to the fact that we missed chinese food so much that we went to CheenaTown in the afternoon, bought food before rushing back home to leave our stuff back at home first.

And due to the fact the CityCat was shut down, it means the only transport left to SouthBank was by BUS~!

Cut cock-and-bull-story short, we managed to reach SouthBank before the dramatic opening of the show at 7pm.

How dramatic?

Try having a jet plane with this fucking huge, AND I MEAN HUGE CHUNK of fire beside its arse and flying so near over your head. You could feel the heat on your skin! For that few short seconds, I thought I was in Singapore!

And not to forget, its DEAFENING sound too. WHHHHHOOOOOOSSSSSSHHHHHH!

I bet even the dead could have been awaken by the sound.

After that was a series of fireworks which was shot all over the place. From the boats in the river to the buildings in the city.



After that was another fly past of the HUGE FIRE ASS JETPLANE~ Its the 2nd time and I caught it both on video.

The combination of all these things is really something different to what I see in Singapore. Although its true we do have jet planes and fireworks too. But well, maybe it's the fact our jet plane had no HUGE FIRE ASS and flew over like so fucking far away and fireworks were also like so fucking far away.

After treating ourselves to a feast of wonderful display on how filthy rich Australians are, we headed back to the Dwarfs' Hut where we could finally prepare our dinner which we bought from CheenaTown.

Mr Chinese Who Cant Speak Chinese though sadly cant speak chinese, but he sure makes a mean meal of assam laksa noodle. Not to forget his very *cough *cough experienced assistant, Yours Sincerly, constantly reminding him, "Hey Mr Chinese Who Cant Speak Chinese, time to put salt. Hey Mr Chinese Who Cant Speak Chinese, I have cut the onions. Hey Mr Chinese Who Cant Speak Chinese, I am done washing the plates."

After that, stayed over at the Dwarfs' Hut as we had another booze drinking little wine-tasting festival of our own.

And well, what's wine-tasting without cigerattes right? I smoked. But hey~! Chill mate~!

I think maybe, perhaps, possibly got a slight chance I have downgraded my status of a Full-Pledged Smoker to a Smoker Who Smokes On Special Occasions. It means, I have lower down my cigerattes intake.
So now instead of smoking everyday, I am smoking only on special occasions. Well, that's a big improvement liao right?


Just for a note, special occasions refers to the following:
- Every even days of the month.
- Every first Saturday of every week.
- Every friend's birthday.
- Every friend's friend's friend's birthday. Means that even if I dont know them, but I know it's their birthday, I shall smoke. It's a toast of cigerattes to them.









K lah, chill la mate, I was just joking on the above :)