Ta Da~

7 hours of flight is no joke. It may not be the longest, but definitely is hurting enough, at least for me on my lovely arse.

I arrived in Singapore yesterday night and geez, was I glad to smell the air of my homeland again. I am still nursing a hangover from last night =D

I love hangovers. It reminds me of how much I drink the night before.

Once arrived in Singapore, I was greeted by my entire family and of course, 3 of my lovely friends who made the effort to take the cab down despite the overrated taxi charges that have increased over the last 10 months while I was away.

On the way back home, passing by TPE and CTE. I realise how much I miss Singapore and how bright the roads are back home.

Upon reaching home, I was frantically trying to unpack my stuff, unwrapping all the gifts I bought for my family members like a virgin Santa doing his first home visit; albeit a skinner Santa.

Adjourned to the old place, a prata shop with my friends and did something which I badly wanted to have for the months I was away; have a fucking ice coffee that costs only $1.50 and a mee goreng for $3.

Night was not to end like this so I got an old buddy of mine to head to my home and drink the night out. Feeling is great seeing my old friends and family members again =D

Well, there shall be more to come before I head back to being a student 2 months later. Till then, its FUCKING PARTYING TIME!

But not to forget, passing my supp paper in January as my priority first =X

Aching. Aching. Aching?

As I am typing, every single muscular membranes in my body are aching, like hell. Even my fingers are aching, resulting in my 500 words/min typing speed reduce to like 50 w/min. This is what happen when you have only 2 fully functional fingers.

The reason for this comes from various reasons.

Firstly, I've been playing soccer so often lately like a boy who just discover new porno series, eagerly anticipating everyday, and every minute. I mean its fun playing soccer here. Back home, there's only Singaporeans to play with, minus the fact there are chinese, malays and indians.

Over here, there are real Chinese (as in china guys), arabians, australians, vietnamese, myanmese, malaysians, japanese, no koreans cause I think they excel better in eating Kimchi. Multi nationality playing atmosphere exposes you to many new interesting facts.

For instance, sometimes you have no shit idea what they are talking about. They blabber so much in their own language sometimes that Indians can treat me as their own and shout to me in tamil. I mean what the fuck?

Other than I have a black ass, I don't think any of my body part is really that dark.

Soccer itself, is a sport that is a common language itself.

On the field itself, we understand each other by our body movements. Knowing when they will pass, dribble or even shoot. Of course, I can see it when they really want to hit me cause I am a physical guy. What I lack in speed, I make it up from my physique, shielding them with my body in every possible situations.

Guess what, even 7 foot tall Aussies are no match for my strength. Pfft, so what if you have a longer dick =D

Anyways, another reason why my body is aching is due to the fact I did a major cleaning and packin up today. Since I will be shifting to another house next semester, I was busy throwing all my junks which I collected in the last 18 months into cardboards. Many cardboards to be exact, 10 in all.

I was surprise I had these much amount of things. Soem were given to me by friends, some I bought it myself.

I hate moving house. Geez..

I had to pack my luggage as well for my trip back home in 2 DAYS!

All right, this concludes a hectic day of mine. I am hungry.

Solitude.Nirvana.Tranquility.

Life's been pretty peaceful lately; calmness comparable to Pamela Anderson left untouched when thrown into a sea of horny men.

It's been so quiet till a limit which it seems too boring. I am damn bored. Routine lately consists of going to work, cook, sleep and this cycle goes on and on.

The truth is, I can't wait to go back Singapore even though I foresee it would be boring as well. But hey, it would be a whole new level of boredom. Take away cooking and working. It would be just sleep and sleep.

Oh for people who still doesn't know, Yours Sincerely will be everyone's best Christmas present for 2007. I will be arriving on Christmas day itself.

Talk about grand entrance. Pppffftttttt, I sure know how to behave like one.

Recently, I've been trying to clear my stockpiles of instant food as well. 8 min pasta, 5 min fried rice, 3 min mash potatoe or even 30 sec coffee.

Name whatever you can think of, and I bet I have one. I am even ready to set up a fast food cafe where any food will be ready before you can even warm your seats.

It's not that I love instant food, I just bought too much during my exam period. I guess one of the reason I failed one paper must be because of nutrition deprivation. MSG clogs up my brain cells. But the huge mass amount of hair I have doesn't make up for the fact I actaully consumed too much MSG.

I have hair this thick that I can ride a bike on CTE without wearing any helmet. My hair is enough to cushion any impact on me should I encounter any accident.

Ok, 9 more days of absolute boredom-ness. I shall face the remaining days like a true man.

Till then, adious amigos.....

The Longest Dinner Party.. Ever

We have this certain system that works in our sandwich shop. For everything you break, you have to pay a certain amount of money which will be contributed to our christmas party.


Yesterday, we had this certain christmas party which in overall, I have contributed 9 bucks. 2 bucks for a stupid broken cup and yeah, 7 for the lengendary can-opener. I was amongst the bottom lowest ranking paying personnel. Some of the top ranking people included smashed cakes, shattered plates and flying glass bottles. Geez. How clumsy can people get?


Anyway yeah, it reads christmas party but do not ask me why we had this party 2 weeks in advance of the actual date. I told ya Aussies are inefficient. But when it comes to partying, they are in line for the next most hardworking oscar awards.


I am still suffering from a slight hangover from last night. The night which marks the longest dinner and earliest drinking party ever.


The commencement of the party began at around 5pm at our bosses' place (married couple of australian and singaporean) when it was still all bright and sunny. By then, we were already starting to drown ourselves in toxification of the body. As expected, by 6pm, there were already glowing red faces hovering around the house.









Oh, in preparation of what you guys are going to see later on. I would just like to inform that my boss is a chef specializing in fine dining, or so-called food that makes people slightly more full than a prata kosong.


The first appetizer came at 530pm. Mushroom chicken on top of this small crust. No wonder its called the appetizer, I can eat 4000 of this inclusive of the 2 bottles of beer I had earlier.


But through this first course of the day, I finally know my boss is really a chef. And a fine one indeed.

2nd dish of the day. Some potatoe thing on top of half a mushroom. The good thing I like about these first 2 dishes is that it goes stright into my mouth. Damn gooooddddd.

And the best thing is, all these free meals and unlimited flow of alcohol for just 9 bucks =D

3rd meal of the day, his famous duck puffs showered in plum sauce.

For a moment, I thought I was in heavens from my first mouth of this duck puff. Or could it be the beers?

If you guys thought this was the end, you were wrong. I was wrong. At around 8pm, my aussie boss was seen busy grilling random food on the BBQ pit. Looking at the food and the earlier impression he gave me, I know I was in for a treat. For 9 bucks. Pffftttttt... Cheaper than Mcdonalds. Fuck burgers from now on.

When it was all done, it was already 930pm. The background picture shows my lady boss. She was knocked flat out by then from all the drinks. This situation I like best, one less competitor to share the food with.

I am evil, I am Singaporean.

Judging from the picture, I know for certain one of my friends would have guessed what it is.

Lambchops with truffle sauce. Do not ask me what the fuck truffle sauce is. I only know its quite expensive and taste helluva fucking Nice with a capital 'N'.

An imitation of our local Satay. I guess my boss knows it can't be compared to the authentic ones. So he says that it is just chicken on a skewer.

Duhhh, Australians sure knows to find excuses.

Juicy, tenderlising pork. One of the nicest I eaten and its style of cooking is pretty similar to the chinese method.

Prawns and sotongs. And guess what, I contributed to this dish. I peeled the prawns earlier on in the shop. I don't care what you say! I am half a chef! Screw you!

Mango Salad.

I was actually kinda looking forward to this one cause my colleague from China was telling me how nice it is, so on and so forth. Apparently they had this similar dish at the last year's christmas party as well. So by popular demand, my boss specially made this certain dish again.

Just by eating the first mouthful of it, I realised a fact. People from China do not know how to taste food. Enough said.

I've grown to like salmon during my short 1 and a half years stay in Australia. Look at the picture and you will know about the quality of the food yourself.

Finally, the picture of the staff of our sandwich shop =D

Just for a note, dinner ended at around 10pm before we carried on drinking till 1am. Picture consists of Singaporeans, Malaysians, Koreans, Chinese and Australians.

Needless to say, at the end of the night, it is once again proven that Australians are the reigning party animals with their in-born skills of drinking beers and spirits like water.

With my lady boss and me as the only Singaporeans around, and the fact that she was knocked out very early, it was up to me to carry my country's honour on my shoulders. I didn't win but I didn't lose badly either.

I shall not find any excuses for losing.

It's not that I can't drink anymore. I just ate too much.

What Have I Been Up To

On a short note, I realise that it has been a while when I actually gave a proper update on what I've been doing lately.

Few years down the road, I would not want to have the kind of what the fuck expression when I read through my current few weeks entries in an attempt to reminiscence my past.

What the fuck am I talking about?

Anyway, it took me quite a fair bit amount of time to get through the horrorfied fact that I failed one of my paper. I never been through this before and was not really sure how I should get over this kind of setback.

Trust me, losing the camera nor shitting in your pants ever came close to this. At least for me.

Apart from the bitter memories of failing my paper, I also experienced extreme suayness in my work that even my fellow Singaporean lady boss can just shake her head in disbelief.

I mean I am working as a sandwich boy, what things can possibly happen right?

Well, if you put aside burning and cutting my hands and fingers countless times, losing the can opener 2 times in a row in one short day (P.S. The can opener has never been lost in the history ever since the shop was set up) and a near loss of the shop's key, nothing worse actually happen.

In short, this year has been memorable. Let's just hope, I mean PLEASE LET ME hope that nothing else unlucky befall onto me for the rest of this year. Never mind the good things. As long as nothing bad happen, I would consider myself to be the luckiest man in the whole world.

Upon saying that, I definitely don't mean that from next year onwards, I shall be curse again. I meant please let me have a change of luck.

Knowing that I am so fucking suay, I stayed at home today as I was not working. I mean what bad things can happen at home right?

Other than the pot falling on my left toe and I mistook my facial cleanser as the toothpaste (again), it has been a lovely day.

Well, since I am at the bottom now, I believe things can only get better. I think.

Enough of my current 'don't-even-wana-mention-life', let's write about something good.

Attended one my of housemates' graduation yesterday. It has been like the 3rd graduation I attended ever since I came here. I suddenly have this strong urge in my mind praying that hopefully I can have my graduation as scheduled next July.

So boys and girls, if you haven't been doing any good deeds lately. Here's one for you.

Put your hands together and pray that I can graduate next July =D

The Return

I had a haircut yesterday.

And guess what?

The length of my hair depends on my mood. So you can roughly guess the length of my hair now =D

Ladies and Gentlemen, please put your hands together and welcome......

The Return of Mr Ronaldo....

.

Results came out. I failed one of my subject.

I am out of words right now. I have never failed before in my 16 years of schooling life (except for Literature cause I absolutely detest Macbeth).

I did try my best for the exams but final results show that I did not try hard enough. Now I can only pray hard that I will be able to pass my supplementary paper.

Because of this supp paper, sorry to my mates that I won't be able to go for our long-awaited Taiwan trip.

Stress

Exam results will be out on 28th Nov.

I am so fucking stress.

Whoever Said That?

It has long been said that girls can multi-task at one time unlike guys.

I agree to this statement to a certain extent. Girls are amazing living creatures.

They can multi task to an extent which just sometimes left me in awe. They can do their hair, manicure, pedicure at the same instant and still manage to gossip about which female artiste had the latest boob job.

Isn't that amazing?

But who says guys can't multi-task. Just to quote an example, we guys can watch porn and masturbate at the same time. See, this is called multi tasking. We are amazing as well. While fulfilling the visual requirements, we take care of our biological well-being as well. I am so proud of being a guy =D

But yeah, girls do multi-tasks better. But as a result, guys have better concentration. That is because since we can't do two things at a time, might as well devote all our attention in getting the task at hand over and done with.

I am really bad at multi-tasking. That is why I once wrote said that I am watching movie, do not attempt to talk to me cause I really find it hard to talk to you while following the plot.

I wasn't joking then, I am really serious. I also find it distracting if I am really into a movie, and the people or friends beside me just keep yanking non-stop like a chicken backside. It disgusts me.

If you are my friend and at this instant have a feeling that I am talking about you, then yeah, have no doubts in your heart. It's you I am talking about.

Anyway the fact that it disgusts me is cause if you guys are gossiping about other people and being the curious me, I want to hear who the sucker is. But at the same time, I want to watch my movie as well. So please gossip after the movie, share it with a curious old me.

Haiz.. I am missing kway-teow goreng~~~

*Praying for results*

This...

In my previous post, I said that I would make an attempt to blog about my free dinner which I had today. So yeah, as tired as I am, I spend the last 30 min just trying to upload the bloody pictures.

I tried to narrow down to just a few selected pictures but there were just too many.

Anyway, before the long awaited dinner at this high class Japanese Restaurant, I went for a shopping spree with some of the girls. Technically I didn't buy much cause I wasn't really in the mood to spend my hard earn money and therefore I believe my presence there was to help the girls carry their bags.

After I the girls did their shopping and seeing that we have 2 hours left , we headed to one of a friend's friend place in an attempt to sit the rest of the time out and as well as to make ourselves as hungrier as possible prior to our free dinner.

When we were in the F's F place, I nearly fucking fell asleep. It's not that nobody was talking, but it was because they were talking about things which I have absolutely no idea. The friend's friend was a piano teacher and both of my friends took piano lessons since young. So they were like discussing on the issues related to piano, saying the feelings that they experience when they listen to songs like Mozart or Beethoven.

I do have a feeling when I listen to Mozart or Beethoven as well, it's the feeling to pull out the plug.

Bla bla bla, very soon it was time to head to this high class Jap restuarant that was by the seaside. By the way, this dinner was a committee dinner and therefore all the expenses were paid by Taisa as a way of thanking the people for the help that was given this past one year.

The restuarant was called Sono. And trust me, luckily it was a treat, if not I would have faint upon looking at just even the prices of their appetizers.




We had a room all to ourselves. The only Japanese restaurants I been to back in Singapore was like Sakae and Waraku, Sono was a whole new experience. The room was totally decorated like how the movies I saw. I am beginning to like this place...

Well, ordering took like forever but when the food came, it really lived up to its name.

Tempura prawns. Pretty normal, it's free anyway, so guess what, I don't even bother chewing out the meat that was in the tail part.

HEY it's free, I can live, eat and behave like a king.

Adekashi Tofu. Fuck, this was good. Sauce was to perfection and the tofu breaks down by itself in my mouth. It literally melts.

The most expensive meat I ever eaten considering the quantity. 8 pieces of THINLY sliced beef for 45 SGD. I was looking for diamonds in them.

Avocado prawns. So huge that they put lobsters to shame.

Chawanmushi. It freaking costs like 10 SGD. I frantically scraped every last bit to look for presence of gold bars in it.

Beef Katsu. Ok this was pretty normal, I do better ones.

I am not really a sushi lover. But trust me, their sushi is so damnnn good. You can feel every single grain of rice and the tenderness of the sashimi just blows your mind away.

Sashimi plate. I guess there is not much need for me to describe it. I attained Nirvana after eating it.

The Taisa (Taiwan Student Association) Committee Members. Everyone's smiling like a flower.

Who doesn't when they eat free food?

After dinner, a group of us adjourned to some post activities namely, Singing =D

I was pretty high whole night though I didn't touch a single drop of alcohol. Must be the sashimis.

Halfway through singing, we were like totally engross in playing with our camera man's equipment. He had this flashlight thing that apparently will 'flash' when any cameras in range take pictures.

We were simply amazed by it and meddling with the flashlight thing like kids that saw condoms for the first time.

Oh there is a light in my arse~

Statue of Alcoholism.

All right, time to sleep. I have work tomorrow.

Happy Halloween mates =D

Time of Enjoyment & Lotsa Booze

Oh my god!! I haven't blog in dayssssssssss. In actual fact, I didn't really miss blogging cause I am embarking myself on a journey of after-exams-self-enrichment-course.

Ask any students and they will be glad to tell you how glad they are when they are release from the clutches of studying everyday and the need of clearing the dusts and cob webs of their books.

I am glad that it's over. Period.

As I am writing now, I am preparing to go for a booze session at my mate's place =D

So to make full use of the time before I leave home. Let me recall what I did after my exams.

Yeah, of course I got a really good sleep to recharge my body. As they say, a healthy body is required before you indulge yourself in the world of booze and lust.

Sad to say, you can leave the lust out. Non to the record.

Actually, I didn't really get to enjoy myself to the max cause right after my exams, I was back to being a hardworking sandwich boy, selling sandwiches like there is no tomorrow.

What to do? I need money, money to sustain my daily expenses and as well to make sure I maintain the level of fats in my body. These are assets mind you. It takes years of burgers and fries to build them up.

Tomorrow, I shall blog again regarding the free-of-charge high class japanese dinner that Taisa will be treating me for dinner =D

I love japanese food. Especially when its free.

Hey, I am Singaporean.

The Truth

This blog has seen its fair share of sorrows for the past 3 years.

But I must say that even though this is my blog, I have not been completely honest on the entries I wrote. I have not been completely honest in writing in who I am, or what I do.

Names and events were kept in secrecy to protect those who do not want to be mentioned as well as to prevent the likes of unnecessary troubles.

In the beginning, I wrote for the fun of writing, for the sake that everyone has one, it's time I should have one as well.

As time goes by, this blog grew to be more personal to me. To an extent that I struggle to tell the truth at times cause innocent parties may get involved. In order to acheive this, that is when the truth gets distorted.

Sometimes I feel so ashamed about lying who I am.

But not now, not today.

Because today, I shall be honest for the first time, honest for the ever first time I created this blog 900 days ago.

The truth is, I am Spiderman =D

Mirrors Dont Lie

I recieve a certain shock this morning.

While looking in the mirror, I saw something different with my porcelain body.

Do I have 3 nipples? I think I saw 3 nipples.

I must be having a bad dream or perhaps due to the fact I just woke up, I am still lagging behind in my common senses.

Rubbing my eyes, I inched my nipples nearer to the mirror and took a closer look.

Fuck, I really have 3 nipples. Well, it looks like I almost had 3 nipples. In actual fact, it was just an overgrown pimple sticking just below my left nipple.

You can imagine the massive capacity of that oversized pimple for me to actually mistaken it as my 3rd nipple. Its fucking HUGE.

I took a picture of it to show you guys below.

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...........\....... ..... ..( ..................


YOU MOTHERFUCKING PERVERTS!

Miracle Lines

I was supposed to be revising for my exams. But out of boredom, I drew a picture.

Actually I drew a similar one back when I was 16 years old which was like last year.

Ok I lied. It was 8 years ago.

Anyway the only difference is at 16, I drew using a pen. This time round at 24, I drew using Paint Program.




I have grown to become a Paint Specialist in my short 1 and a half years as a undergraduate.

Well, if you keep using Paint to play around with your experimental data, you too, will become a Specialist.

Rest in Peace, Lighter

As of this moment, I am writing with an extremely heavy heart.

Close friends know that I own this certain special lighter of mine and have been using it for 2 and a half years.

This is remarkable. Ask any smokers around and if they say they have been CONSTANTLY using their lighter for more 2 years, you can call me a gay.

Under the circumstance of constant usage, a normal 50 cents lighter bought from the coffeeshop would last you a good 2 or 3 months. A Zippo lighter is worse. It last you a week before you decide to chuck in underneath the closet.

Anyway you see, Lighter and me has always been constantly sticking together.

Be it going down to buy chicken rice, playing soccer, chasing girls, we have always been side by side. We shared so much memories. Whenever I need to smoke, it always gives me a helping hand by lighting up my cigerattes.

But now, Lighter is no longer the Lighter I once owned.

There is originally this catch that prevents the cap from opening.







But yesterday, I discovered that the catch has somehow snapped off without me realising.



So what happens now is the cap has a tendency to fling itself open without any warnings. It is not that I can't use it anymore, but something is just amiss.

I seriously do not want to risk putting it in my jeans. Without any warning, the cap may, possibly, have a slight chance open and I may, possibly, have a slight chance un-noticingly squeeze on the trigger.

I would be fucked.

That's why if you see any guy with their pants on fire in Orchard Road, go up and say Hi.

That will be me.

Fishy-FIshing-Fish-Fished

I attempted yet another first.

My first fishing trip.

At 1 am this morning, while I was sucked and stucked in the sewers of my revision, my housemates threw me a lifeline. They asked me to go fishing. Well it came as a surprise for me. Imagine someone msn-ing you (yes, my HOUSEMATES msn me. That is what happen when you live in a 2 storey house) late at night, asking you to go fishing.

On normal days, I would rather watch my porn. But somehow at that moment, maybe too much thinking has genetically change my thinking membranes and my brain actually process signals to my body to get prepared for the fishing trip.

So there I was, learning some last minute tips and tutorials on how to do my bait and hooks.

Exactly at 0230 hours, we were on our way to our designated pier where rumour says that small fishes were banned by the Fish Colony, and only big fishes were allowed to stay there. This was good news to me. This means that I can get nothing but big fishes for my virgin fishing trip.

Reached the pier at around 0315 hours, it was basically deserted. Well it should be cause how many bloody idiots would be fishing on a weekday? I am fine with it. I am used to being one.

Walking along the pier, I secluded all my senses to a near state of attaining Nirvana and try to feel where all the big fishes are.

I suddenly feel it, I sense and came to a sweet spot. Like a professional fisherman and a mighty swing of the fishing rod, my hook and anchor flew through the dark sky, penetrating the cold winds and into the vast sea.

"Ooi Cheebye you forgot to put your bait lah", my housemate shouted.

Fuck. I actually forgotten about it. Well its excusable cause I am an amateur. I am a virgin in fishing.

I seriously hate touching all this smelly and disgusting sea creatures and that explains why I almost puke as I had to hook a dead-for-2-years prawn to my hook. I should have bought Twisties instead.

Once done, I did a check again.

No tangles in my fish line.

Bait hooked.

Anchor still there.

All right, time for my first big fish. Come to Papa you Motherfucking fishes.

Again like a seasoned fisherman, excluding the part I forgot about my bait, I cast my line so far that no human eyes can see.

Well no one can. Its 3 am in the morning.

After waiting for like 30 min, I grew sleepy. No fish likes my prawn. The fishes must be all sleeping or so I thought when suddenly I feel this HUGE jerk to my line. I was so nervous. The first fish that fell in love with my prawn.

Now the tough part was reeling it up. The fishing rod bend to a point that I thought it would break. Using all the skills I learnt in cartoons, I turn my fishing rod left, right and center as I carry on reeling in the fish with all my might. Boy! what a strong fish, actually able to be on par with my 20kg pure musckles right arm.

My first fish, no way am I going to let in run away.

I succeeded in catching my first fish =) I am an absolute genius. I am a born fisherman.

My first fish.





Ok, laugh all you want. It may look like ikan bilis, but at least it is still classifed under fishes.

The rest of the night was pathetic. Zero catch. For a moment I was thinking that I was not there to fish fishes, but to feed fishes. I lost so much of my bait.

My skills are not to blame. Its freaking 4am at night, fishes have to sleep as well. I just have to wait till morning when they wake up for breakfast.

Morning came. My second catch is coming soon. I can feel it. The fishes are hungry. They want some McPrawn. I improvised my bait by wrapping my prawn in some fish meat. Now that should look appetising for the fishes. *Grin...

My sixth sense never lets me down. A size 9 fish came saying hello to my McPrawn. I am not sure whether it is edible, but after spending 6 hours at the bloody pier, I am not going home with just an ikan bilis.

I had the fish for dinner. My first meal eating fishes I caught. I am so proud of myself.

Say hello to the fish.

Fishing is fun. I like fishing. I like the sense of accomplishment when you succeed in wheeling one in. The only thing I hate is the scaling and cleaning part. I seriously hate the fishy smell as I digged all the organs out.

And guess what, I even found McPrawn in it.

It's Not That I Do Not Want to Blog.

It's just that I am too exhausted at the end of the day to just type any entry.

Writing reports is like a quicksand that drains all your ability to bullshit. That explains why I got no energy to write my blog. I wrote so much reports in the day that I totally lose my ability to bullshit anymore in my blog.

But well, looking on the bright side, for the first time in my undergraduate life, I actually have more than 1 week for serious revision before the exams. In previous semesters, assignments choke everyone till non had time to revise at all.

As you all know, being the smart me, being the authentic True Singaporean at Heart, I never get shamed by the same incident twice. I rushed all my lab-books, reports and assignments, surviving on Maggi Mee only. Efforts pay off, I have more time for revision.

If you haven't start feeling proud of me, you should. Cause I am.

If you guys think I am already satisfied, guess again. I haven't been drinking for weeks! Oh wait. I did drink last week. But that is not counted, it is excusable. It is my friend's birthday. I don't care! I am a fucker.

I have achieved a feat. I should be in the Guiness World Record for the longest non-drinking period award. Geez. I shall go reward myself now with a smoking break.

Oh yeah, something to announce to you guys. I am planning to quit smoking =)


Just not sure when....

Celebration of Asian Students In Australia

Few days ago was the birthday celebration for one of my aussie mate. Driving in 3 cars, we head over to a chinese restaurant somewhere in Cheenatown.

After settling down on a nice big table, I notice something was amiss. I thought this was supposedly an asian restaurant, but how come other than us, the rest of the patrons were ang mohs? Plus, the place is like so damn packed because of them.

In my most humblest opinion, they should be having fish and chips in some dodgy shops instead of crowding in with us.

Among the 13 of us, we ordered 11 dishes. Trust me, it was a very stressful dinner. Food came so fast that I thought we were ordering fast food. For the first 15 min, you can hardly hear anything except for noises that came from the spitting of the bones cause we were so busy finishing up the dishes in order to create space for the incoming food.

It was almost like I grab a piece of tofu with my half-fuck chopsticks skills, bend my big head down to eat my tofu and when I lift my head (taking considerable time), the whole fucking plate of tofu is all gone!

Anyway dinner was pretty good. I mean those food that came after 15 min were pretty good. It was only then when I can really taste the food. Before the 15 min, I was just swallowing with every 2 chews. A True Singaporean At Heart never gets trick by the same tofu incident twice.

There you have it, the 13 people who can swallow food with an average of just 2 chews. Birthday girl is the one that looks like she is wearing a red bra in the picture. After the dinner, we guys adjourned to some after-dinner sessions at her place.

To reward hardworking students like us, what better ways are there except to toxicate ourselves with alcohol?

To raise the stakes, we brought along this roulette game that determines the shots you drink. For the first time in my life, I was so happy that I lost. In fact, I drink when I lose and also even when I didn't lose. Who says no to free alcohol intoxication? I will only reject free alcohol under one circumstance, that is if I get pregnant.

People often ask me what is life about?





Well, this is life....

Fuck. I Got Tagged

I always appreciate the fact that I never got tagged, even for once, before. But as unlucky as I get, as I was browsing through my friend's blog, she actually tagged me. I am not one who knows exactly how to turn down requests. So I shall dedicate my virginity to her. God bless her lucky soul. Orh-Mi-Tuo-Fuo~


5 things in my bag:

- Domino's pizza vouchers.

- Grocery shopping receipt dated "24th May 2007". Fuck, what's this doing in my bag?

- 30Gb HDD containing my porn collection research materials. Highly Classified.

- Notebooks of course. I am a hardworking student. I use them to write down notes during lectures; albeit the only content the books have is my name.

- Voodoo doll. Given to me from one of my buddy. Theoretically, it is supposed to help me pass my exams. But practically, till now it hasn't did any of my exams for me.


5 things in my head:

- "Why the fuck am I writing this."

- "Need to finish up the assignments, reports, and lab-books so I can start on my revision." I am actually thinking about this. You should be impress of me, cause I am.

- "Oh yeah, this weekend need to pay up rent."

- "What to cook for tomorrow's lunch and dinner?" It is during these times when I especially miss my mother. Other times include when I am shitting, and I need someone to bring me a new roll of toilet paper from the storeroom.

- "I am seriously running out of ideas."


5 words sentences i frequently use:

- What the fuck! (Be aware that its not 'What the fuck?': This is a question. It ends with a lower bass tone. Mine is 'What the fuck!': This is a description. It ends with a higher pitch.)

- Ni-Nah-Beh.

- I-am-fucked. (Used when I am in deep shit. I use it almost everyday)

- I-am-hungry.

- Huh?-Sia-mi-lan-jiao~ (It's rather long but it always comes together as a full sentence)


5 recent smses received:

* I shall skip this one cause SMS-es are expensive in Australia. Plus the plan I am using doesn't consists of any free SMS-es.


5 recent things i just did:

- Read my friend's blog. That results in what I am doing now.

- Carried dumbbells. Carried as in from my room to the storeroom.

- Bathe. Carrying dumb bells cause me to sweat ya know?

- Smoke. I am just trying to reward myself for breaking some sweat.

- Scratch my bottom. Australia's mosquitoes are deadly. They penetrate through my pants and underwear.


5 things in my wardrobe:

- Obviously, UNDERWEARS!

- Socks.

- Unused condoms. Ok I am joking on this one =)
*They are actually used.

- Un-ironed shirts and pants. I miss my mother again.

- Luggage bags.


5 things i just ate:

- Rice with random soup.

- Nicotine and tobacco.

- Fish Oil with additional Omega 3.

- My mucus. Excuse me, I am having a slight flu.

- Ok nothing else, I guess it's saliva.


5 people i'm tagging:

Hmm ok, I am thinking who actually reads my blog and are active in blog writing themselves. I don't have much readers ya know. For those whom I tagged, it's ok if you guys don't respond. It is seriously all right with me. Serious.

I will just have additional spare gifts to give to other people.

- Eunice Jean Ong (Something else for you to blog about)

- Franky Luo Wei Sen (You-are-fucked)

- Beckham-ke-lan Phua Say Song (Stop blogging about how heartless Singaporeans are)

- Miss Pek (Yes. Don't open your eyes so big. You are taGGed)

Shit, I ran out of eligble applicants. I shall just make it 4 people that-are-fuckeddddd. Faster, the clock is ticking.....

The Season of Greetings

Ever since I started my life as a student again, there are two periods in a year which I absolutely detest most. These short periods are terms which I label it as "Fast & Furious".

I get so freaking busy that I don't even have time to watch my porn and I survived on eating instant noodles and my favourite, Indomee. On good days, I may even add an egg or two.

Now, it has once again reached the season of my fast pace life as it is just one month prior to exams. All my assignments and reports and revision start suffocating me and intoxicating me with countless terminology and equations.

I don't mind drowning in a pool filled with dollar notes, but not books and papers.

I hate life as a student who has to study for the sake of studying.

I miss the booze. I miss knocking myself flat with an overdose of alcohol even more.

On the bright side, it means I am heading back to Singapore soon for my holidays soon. But I am hesitating. Going back to Singapore means a cut down on my booze intake. Beers are the same as prostitutes. They are overcharged.

Aussies drink beers like Singaporeans want free things, there is never enough. This explains for the low costs of beers over here.

I guess the only solution for me is to get as much alcohol-toxicated drinks I can from our infamous Changi Airport, and hope that it will last me for the 2 months while I am caged in Singapore.

The Ultimate Slogan

It has always been an important issue that advertisements must have a slogan that best describes their products, thats is if they want to capture the attention of their consumers.

As the saying goes, If ya have a good slogan, thats half the battle worn. The other half depends on how dumb the consumers are.

If you are selling diapers, your slogan can be Fancy a hussle? Wrap the ass up.

For condoms, Shoot in me Macho. We never allow a single leak.

For sunglasses, Ladies won't ever know you are staring at their boobs.

For diet pills, Got additional money to spend? Be a dumb bitch and buy me home.

Sometime back while I was shopping, I saw this really good advertisement board that made me really impressed. Seriously impressed. It was an advertisement for a Global Positioning System (GPS).

Because She Can't Read Maps

Now that's really very funny and I think the advert is targetting at husbands or guys with girlfriends. Kinda true to a certain extent. I mean no offense to the female counterparts. But out of 10 ladies I know, 8 knows no shit about map reading. The other 2 starts reading the brand of the street directory.

But I must confess, though I do know how to read maps, I absolutely suck in navigating myself around. I never remember the roads or routes to get to places. The only place back in Singapore where I can drive around easily like the back of my palm is the MSC or so-called, Multi-Storey Carpark. I get from the ground floor to the top floor with ease.

When I get my own car, if I ever do, I will make sure I get one of this GPS in my car. Wouldn't it be so cool? I will never drive alone again. Every now and then, my GPS would make sounds like "Turn left in 100 m."

"Drive straight for the next 200m."

And then when you miss a turn, "You miss the previous turn, you Motherfucker."

Boredom Leads Me To Do The Following:

I am seriously so bored to death that I decided to churn out some random facts about myself. Please skip this entry if you are one who is thinking now "Who the fuck cares about what you are?"

No better still, if you really have this thought, stay away from here. Well right now, I am thinking the extent to how honest I am going to be. On a scale of 10, I guess I will go about 4 at first. Knowing myself, the tendency that I will reach 10 is approximately 99%.

That 1% is supposedly if there is a blackout in my house.

- I am a straight guy. I detest the sights of homosexuals making out in public. They can kiss all they want but please do it where no one sees you. I once saw two guys kissing in public. One by one, the old people around them suffer from cardio arrest.

- I am an animal lover. Among my favourites are chicken, pig, fish, lamb and cow. They taste excellent when grilled.

- I like girls with long hair. I mean above the neck.

-I hate girls who have this fringe hanging in a straight line infront of their forehead. I call them the "curtain fringe". You are only allowed to have this kind of hairstyle if you are think you are ugly. Better off, keep the fringe till it covers your face.

- I hate celeries, brinjas and durians.

- I hate to have no toilet paper when I want to shit. That is why it is advisable to wear two underwears out. You know what happens when you dirty one; you have the other.

- I hate ladies who speak in a voice that sounds as if they just came out of the womb.

- I am not really picky on food on some days. Notice I say "some". It means out of a week, that would normally fall under Monday and.... Ok, make that just Monday. Fuck, I am picky when it comes to food.

- I dont like it when girls put on perfume that smell too strong. Unless they are trying to cover their body odour, then well, I advise them to use the whole bottle. Otherwise, I prefer the natural smell of them just after a bathe.

- I like to fart when I am with my close friends. So if I fart infront of you, congratulations. You are my buddy. Better of if you are a fellow fart-ker as well. We can form a Farting Orchestra that specialises in farting a-cappella.

- I keep all my unsightful hair in check. That includes the armpits, groin area and your nostrils. It's called personal grooming and respect for others. It does not mean completely bald but rather trimmed. Imagine an ant getting lost in my nest of hair. This is call animal abuse. I just want to highlight one certain area. For my fellow friends who are reading this now, please look at your nostrils in the mirror. If you see hair sticking out, most probably I would have seen it as well. I just did not know how to bring this subject up to you.

- I have really low self-esteem when I was young. And even lower now.

- When I tell people I have low self-esteem, I am lying.

- I can't concentrate on two things at a time. An obvious example is when I am watching movies. I don't like to talk. So if you don't see me talking to you, please don't talk to me. I hate it when people talk to me in the midst of movies. If you really have something to talk to me, SMS me. Better still, leave a voicemail. I will get back to you.

- I acknowledge myself as a guy that cries easily. Punch me in my balls now and I will make sure I squeeze out two drop of tears. Instantly.

- I like to laugh a lot. Especially if you fall and do a triple somersault infront of me.

- I don't like it if people laugh at me when I fall and do a triple somersault.

- I used to criticize people a lot but have changed on that bad habit ever since I realised it was a lot harder to borrow money from people.

- Similar to farting, I like to burp as well. If I burp infront of you, it does not mean you are my buddy. I just had too much to drink.

- I like paying for girls but I hate girls who always presumed we are ever-so-willing to pay for them. Unless they are prepared to give me a blowjob anytime I want, please act like you are keen on paying.

- I don't like drinking. I just like the feeling that drinking can bring you. It makes me forget I just spend 100 dollars on it.

- I like to do things that torture the hell out of me such as jogging and weight lifting. It makes me wonder what the fuck am I doing.

- I like to see people either quarrelling or fighting. I enjoy it even more when it doesn't involve me.


I hate studying even more but I guess I have to go do it now. As I said, I like doing things that tortures myself and makes me think what the fuck am I doing.

Pics Out~

All right guys, the pictures for the Daren Show are finally out!! Go to limpehwanaseestars.com to see them now! Oh man I miss that night...

48 Hours That Seems An Eternity

Yesterday finally marks the end of our (TAISA) major event of the year, the Dazen Show.

I believe the above sentence leads to many questions so I shall spend some time explaining these unfamiliar terms. First of all, I am a True Authentic Singaporean who has joined the UQ Taisa Committee (Uni of Queensland Taiwan Students' Association).

Do not ask me why I did not join the Singapore Committee (though I never heard of any) cause I did not come 9000 miles away from Singapore to know only people who are 9000 miles back home.

Secondly, the Dazen Show is a music concert where we invited local Brisbane chinese performers as well as two celebrities, Tank and Zhang Zhi Chen (张智成) to be our guest performers.

The day before yesterday, the committee members had a dinner at this steak house with Tank and Z Chen. I am not one of those fanatics who are crazy over singers but I admit I do like the songs by Z Chen. BUT NOTE: I dont go all gaga when I saw him.

Cause I never recognise him on first sight. Who the fucks wear a cap and dark sunglasses in the middle of the night? Well, he and Tank did.

The highlight of the light was not about them, but rather the food, my steak. I have never eaten such succulent and juicy steak before. I literally had to prevent myself from talking while eating my steak. I was afraid my mouth will squirt juice to the victim sitting opposite me.

I didn't really had the chance to interact with the two singers cause we came in a large group so we were unfortunately seperated into two tables and I was in a different table from them; or should I actaully say I was fortunate to be in the other table.

I heard things were pretty awkward from my friend sitting with them.

So anyway that marks that end of the night, a nice steak plus the only single sentence I exchanged with the two buggers, "The toilet's over there."

I am a loser....

Upon reaching back home, each of us were busy preparing the things needed for Dazen Show which will be held the next day.

The following day, reached Brisbance City Church early in the afternoon to do the setting up of the exterior as well as the convention hall. It was pretty much a new experience for me cause how many of us actually have the chance to get involved in this type of event?

I did not upload any photos in this entry as it is too much of a hassle. But if you guys really want, you can see it some from my Friendster or through the Taisa website (Which I believe the photos haven't been uploaded. The photographers are fucking slackers).

The actual event starts round 7pm and since it was a first come first seat arrangement, the first crowd came around 3pm to start queuing up. My friends were asking me to check whether these people are Singaporeans.

Fuck my friends.

Our music show actually incorporated the ideas used by those major gala shows as in our crowds are all gathered outside the church and we had our performers arrived by cars. They will walk this certain cheap red carpet which we got on sale. But thanks to the spotlights and cheers from the crowd, I believe not much people noticed the quality of the rug.

Ok I guess you guys are getting bored cause I am.

SO bla bla bla, concert goes, first local performers for 2 hours, then Tank came for 45 min. He was ok, not bad. Then Z Chen's turn. He was fucking awesome. I guess it has something to do with his age. He was good at flirting with the crowd.

Concert ends, the committee stayed back to clear up the mess, went for supper and went for a post-concert celebration singing KTV. With who? Yeah with Z Chen =)

And for the first time, I did not sing a single song in KTV.

Why?

The people in the room consisted of some of the performers themselves plus Z Chen. Who the hell dares to sing infront of them. So a group of the committe members and me were like losers beside just humming along to the songs.

Nah Beh CB~

Birthday Wishes II

First and foremost, I would like to say thanks to the people out there who have spend some precious time of theirs to sms, call, message or even msn me on my birthday. I did my best in replying most of you guys. For those I did not, sorry, I was too drunk.

And I was not joking when I wrote about this post. I seriously made my birthday wishes for the 1st time in 11 years.

Guess what? One tiny fraction of my birthday wish really came true. Not completely, but somehow or rather slightly connected; just 24 hours shortly after I made my wish.

The feeling of the lips, the chest and abdomen, I feel it all today. I had a short affair with someone whom I have never met before. It was seriously just a one-time thing. I would never do such a thing again.

While my one-day-stand lover was asleep, I took a picture of him.




Meet my lover, Mr Tommy, the manniquin.

The truth was, I had a First Aid Course today =)

Do not ask me why I am taking FAC over here, it is a pre-requisite for Engineering students.

I did similar courses back in Singapore but it wasn't as realistic as what I did today. Back in those days, we just have to put on our Oscar winning performance and act. Everything was just about acting garang. We blow air into the dummy's nostrils instead of the mouth, we do chest compressions as if the dummy just killed my dog. And if all fails, we throw the dummy around hoping it will shout 'ouch'. Luckily it didn't. I would have pee in my pants.

In today's CPR lesson, I actually had to REALLY fucking blow the manniquin's mouth. I hope he didn't feel the onions I ate in the morning.

Giving an actual blow to his mouth isn't as easy as you see. I had to stretch my mouth so big that it completely cover the manniquin's mouth. After just 2 cycles of CPR (each cycle = 2 blows, 30 chest compressions), I could feel the toil it is taking on my body.

My mouth was so bloody tired just after giving 4 blows. Seriously, I would never be the one giving blowjobs to anyone, ever, cause it is so freaking tiring. I didn't mention anything about receiving.

This is one aspect which I think asian guys win over caucasians. We do not make the ladies as tired in this area.

During the chest compression training, I was seriously bored to death. Cause hey, the manniquin's a guy. Personally, I prefer a female manniquin. I need something to rest on my fingers on while I do the chest compressions ya know?

Birthday Wishes

Truth be told, I never believe in birthday wishes. That explains why I haven't made any birthday wish at all since 12 years old.

Cause what is the point of making birthday wishes when they never come true?

I made plenty of wishes before 12. Non came true. In fact, I can't even remember what I wished for back then.

Since my wishes never came true, I don't even bother making them anymore. Whenever I have a birthday cake and there's this close-your-eyes-and-make-a-fucking-wish routine before blowing out the candles, I always just close my eyes and cup my hands together for no apparent reason.

I never make any wish. Cause they just never come true for me.

To a certain extent, I am not really disappointed when my wishes don't come true. I like surprises. That is why when happy things happen to me, I prefer to stay in a mental of how-the-fuck-did-this-happen, rather than "Oh my birthday wish came true, boring~".

However this year, prior to my birthday in a few days time, I have prepared a list of 3 wishes which I do hope, for a change, will come true.

Come midnight on that exact day, you will see an idiot holding together his hands and facing the window. Don't call the police, I am just making my wishes that has been late for 11 years.

The 1st wish: I want to graduate successfully next June and I hope I don't ever have to study again. Unless of course, I am paid to. Who says NO to free money?

The 2nd wish: I want to buy things without even bothering to look at the price tag, ever.

As for the 3rd wish, it shall be the most important wish and will therefore remain a secret. Don't worry, I ain't hoping I turn into a lady. I still prefer pee-ing while I am standing. Squatting isn't for me. Fat people don't like squatting. If there is really a need for me to squat, I will..... Ok I will squat.

Dear Birthday Genie, for once, please come and visit me on my birthday.

You Motherfucker....

The New Toy

For those avid readers who have been following my blog close enough, you will know that amongst my favourite hobbies; other than shitting, eating and peeping, I like taking photos a lot.

I hear protests saying that my picture-taking skills are like fuck but hey, even the lousiest soccer player have the rights to play on a field, let alone me.

But as much as I like taking pictures, I am not one of those fanatics who invests thousands of dollars to get those high-end cameras that weigh like a fucking AK47.

And besides, you don't need a thousand bucks crap to snap pictures underneath the skirts.

I never understand the rationale of getting such good accessories for a camera. For example, I overheard some of my camera-fanatics friends discussing on the latest flashlight they bought for their camera. They were telling me how fucking bright the flashlight is and I was telling them how fucking shocked the price scared the shit out of me.

Why not just buy a gigantic torchlight? It is less than 1/5 of the price, comes with free batteries, same lighting effect and you can use it when you forget to pay the electricity bills.

Never mind, I wont understand them just like I never understand why bras are so expensive.
Oh I see, it reads "Push-Up Bra".

Just today, my new toy came. A new camera stand to aid in my pictures taking conquest. A new camera stand to make sure those skirts don't turn out blurry when I snap them at night.

Like a young teenager who just receive his first condom, I was so eager to try out my new camera stand that I was holding my camera stand and waiting outside my house for a car. The reason was because I had a picture effect in my mind that I want to try it out. To do that, I need a fucking car to drive pass a round-about near my house.

On normal days when you don't expect anything to drive around that round-about, buses, lorries, sedans and even snails will go pass it. But when I want to test my new toy, there is not a single car in sight and even the wind is laughing at me.

My housemate sees my plight and offer to help me by driving his car around the round-about. I am seriously not very sure on whether I should offer him my gratitude or say he is really gan bo liao. But anyway, thanks to him, I got what I want.

My first picture with my camera stand, I am so touched....

Party At The Dell

Judging by the photos in my Friendster, a lot of friends are commenting that my life over here in Australia doesn't feel like a student for I seem to spend most of my time drinking booze.

Well, they are wrong, You are wrong. My life is about PLENTY of booze.

I am just kidding, it is not that exaggerating. But to be truthful to a certain extent, I do drink more over here compared to back in Singapore.

Just yesterday, we had another party at The Dell.

The Dell is a wonderful place, The Dell is where I sleep, The Dell is my home.

This name is derived from one of my friends, reason being my house is at Dell Road and my housemates and I organized parties quite often.

I like this name.

I like this place.

I love my neighbours =)

The party was good yesterday and would have been perfect if we had strip girls =)
Notice that I said strip girls, ,don't give me strip obasan-s please. With all due respect for old ladies, it is not that we dislike older women, we just prefer ladies who are not upper-body-physically altered by gravitational forces.

The whole night was about running around grabbing whatever drinks that is around to ease the drinking urge. The thing I like about being me is I skull everything.

I skull wine, I skull beers, I skull anything that has alcoholic toxic in it.

Sipping are for pussies, I am a man.

That is why if you sip drinks, you are not in my league. Don't talk to me. Talk to my toes. If you are lucky, they may twitch a bit.

If you drink using straws, even better. My toes will form a 'Fuck you' international gesture.

But I am kinda disappointed that I did not really get to drink a lot yesterday, probably only 7 bottles of beers, 4 Vodka shots, 3 glasses of pussy wine and think 3 Sambuca shots.

I did get a small surprise yesterday, there was a birthday cake for me, courtesy from my housemates. And I will greatly acknowledge the fact that the cake was actually bought from a convenience store when we were groceries shopping and never mind the fact that I nearly paid for the cake.

The truth was I didn't know that cake, if you considered it a cake, was mine until they were holding it and singing the birthday song. I knew that cake look familiar.

Well, it is the thought that counts so yeah, I am grateful to them.

It would have been a perfect birthday celebration if I get laid yesterday night.

Damn, I thought alcohol makes a person cuter...

Recapping My Life

Sometime 23 odd years ago in the month of September, I was born.

Well to be honest, I have no recollection on the things that happen before I was six years old other than the times I cried when I entered Kindergarten, fell in love for the first time at the same place with a girl whom I can no longer remember other than a vague image of her throwning plasticine at me. Well I had projectiles thrown on me all the time so it doesn't really matter.

Primary school was kinda special to me. I am totally different from what I used to be. As well as my memories can serve me, I think I was a very quiet boy and was a very fat and quiet boy. I think I was so fat that if I hang a picture of me on the wall, it would fall off. I fell in love with the second girl of my life for perhaps a good six years and I realise for the first time how having an erection felt, but never knew what was it for.

It was at that time I also realise how my head was made up of different molecular compositions compared to normal Earthlings and I had this tiny bit of righteousness in me. I could never stand it when people cut queue infront of me while I am buying burgers during recess. They can cut queue behind me.

I still hold a grudge for my form teacher when I was in primary six. Something bad really happened. I nicknamed her the "Rocket Legs". In my humblest opinion, I think the girth of her legs was as big as my head. She was a fucker-ress. I did something which I thought wasn't that big of a deal. But she seriously made a big fuss out of it and even kicked me out of class and FORCED me to go home. I guess it must be because she was rejected sex the other day by her husband. I was just unlucky to be at the receiving end of her wrath.

Secondary School was something I was looking forward too. I felt that I was turning into an adult. Though I was pretty disappointed that I didnt end up in the same school as my second love. I harbour a fraction of thoughts of her for the next one year.

Perhaps it was during this phase which shaped up a major part of what I am today. I made a group of friends who remain important roles in my life. I fell in love for the 3rd time when I met a girl in my Sec 1 class for perhaps the next 3 years.

I realise my strongest subject was Chinese and was also very fluent in certain adjectives and pronounciation of Hokkien words. Thanks to the many explanatory diagrams drawn on the seats of buses and doors of the toilets, I finally realised what an erection was and lost my virginity to my left hand. Or was it right? I was also one of the fastest at typing messages on pagers and in non-contrast with my appearance, someone even commented my voice was sexy when I left voicemail for them.

Due to my size, I tore up quite a few pants especially the zip area. I know sometimes my eagle wanted to be released from the cage. But I didn't know it was that badly.

When I was 16, I met the fourth true love of my life. The ironic part was I didn't even knew her yet I was that madly in love with her. In recent years, I finally get to know her as a friend which was enough for me. She remains as very special memories of mine. Just memories.

I didn't know how I managed to pass my O-Levels though I spend a good deal of time hanging around Mcdonalds just right before the exams; in the name of revising. In actual fact, I was just contributing to its daily closing account with all the pies, fries and drinks I bought. Right before the exam, I nearly had to get new pants as well.

I obtained a good 17 points, just enough to get into JC, a lousy JC which was just around my vicinity. Well of course I didnt and chose to go poly instead.

Poly life sucks. I think it must have been the worst 3 years of schooling life. Other than two of my unlucky friends whom I drag along with from my secondary school, I think I made less than two friends throughout that 3 years.

Not that I was that unpopular, I just don't bother making new friends at all. That explains why my secondary school friends remain an important part in my life even till now. Without them, I have none.

I was a late bloomer. My first kiss was when I was 18 with my first girlfriend. I must confess I feel kinda guilty towards her. I was with her more of like I wanted a girlfriend rather than I loved her. That explains why we only lasted for like 1 month. Make that 30 days. It sounds better. At least it's double digit.

As much as I detest my poly life, I still manage to get my diploma in 3 years. And unlike other poly graduates, I still remember clearly till now where I place my diploma certificate back at home. Because without it, the table in my room will still be rocking non-stop.

Right after I graduate, I had a second girl of my life. Technically and theoretically speaking, she wasn't my girfriend at all. She was more like a fling. There was strictly no love between us. Just physical contact to appease a certain part of the devil in each of us.

Awaiting for me after my poly life was of course what the majority of the Singaporean guys hate; Army for the next good 2 and a half years.

To be truthful for once, I was among the minority of people who can't wait for enlistment. To my thinking back then, I wanted to achieve great feats in future and if I can't even stand life as a soldier, how can I ever fulfill my dreams?

I felt so mighty, so passionate, enthusiastic and ever-all-ready for army; for the next one year. After one year and enlisted into my new company, I realise being a soldier is good, but is taking too much of my time. I wanted to finish the remaining good 1 year as soon as possible. But it was also thanks to Army that I met a number of good friends who did all the dirty work with me.

During this army phase, I had the 3rd girl in my life. Things got pretty bad, I mean really bad during the initial phase. It's hard to give details on what actually happen because everything happen within a short period of time.

It was hard to go through that phase during that period itself. But thinking back now, I am actually laughing. I guess it's part of the growing up process. I remain very good friends with the 3rd girl.

Right after my army, I was kinda pretty lost on where I should go from then on. Due to my lack of abilities during poly, my results were not enough for me to enter local Universities. For three years (Since I was initially in army) running, I have been stupidly paying money to them to send me rejection letters. Fuck~

So this result to where I am and what I am today. Typing an entry in my blog all the way from Brisbane, Australia, as a student of University of Queensland.....

Riverfest II

This is one particular day of the year where Australians find that they have no place to spend their additional money, so they decided to waste it on huge amounts of fireworks; and they call it "Riverfest".

I guess this festival is the english version of one of our chinese festival, "端午节". The origin of our chinese version was that we throw huge amounts of ba-zhang into the river in an attempt to distract the fishes from eating a particular guy's body.

Aussies are richer, they use fireworks to scare away the fishes.

Ok craps aside, this was the 2nd year running that I've been to this Riverfest. Last year was very disappointing for me. I went to the city too late and didnt manage to grab a good spot to take my pictures.

A True Singaporean At Heart never does the wrong things twice.

I reached my targeted spot (Southbank) round 3 hours before the start of the "Scare the fucking fish away" Festival and guess what. There were already these many people.

The arrow marks the spot where I eventually chose to settle down. The advantage of the spot was its excellent geographical and strategical location and not to forget the chicks that were sitting beside me.

Below is the picture of the Brisbane City taken from a bridge which connected South bank to the city.

Before the start of the mainshow, there was this show by the planes. The thing was when they first came, there were six planes. When they left, only four planes flew off. Know why? Cause apparently two planes hit some birds and they flew back to HQ.

Picture below: Notice the bridge under the planes? That's the connecting bridge I was talking about.

The barge below is parked in the middle of the river. Purpose being it will be firing fireworks in the middle of the sea as well.

Brisbane City approaching sunset, approaching Mission: Scare The Fucking Fishes Away.

Exactly 7pm was the start of the Riverfest and its introduction for the show was also one of its main highlight, two fighter planes flying over the bridge at extreme low altitude. As this is the main highlight, its pictures shan't be shown until the end of this entry =)

Fireworks......

More fireworks.....

More and more fireworks shooting from the top of the buildings...

Fireworks again....

Usual.......

Ok now this is bit more interesting. Fireworks were being let off from the bottom of the bridge. And for your information, on top of the bridge is totally packed with people.

MORE MORE MORE FIREWORKS....

SCARE THE FUCKING FISHES AWAY!!

Actually for people who are using amateur camera like me, I believe you guys know how hard it is to take nice pictures of fireworks right? Cause most of the time the photos will be very blurry due to the poor lighting.

Now I shall reveal the secrets to taking not-that-jialat pictures of fireworks. The trick is simple. I took over 800 pictures for this fireworks alone. No matter how bad you get, there will surely be at least one or two nice pictures.

I am so smarrttttttt =)

There is only one certain regret I have for this year. Once again, I failed to take decent pictures of the fighter planes flying past the bridge. So I have no choice but to get pictures from my friends' friends' friends who are using professional camera. So yeah, you can imagine the standard of the pictures. Please dont use it to compare with my Canon Ixus 850IS~

Picture below: Should be taken from some residential building in the city. Notice the line of fire from the back of the fighter plane? Yeah the view was spectacular but it didn't really look like this. There was indeed fire from the back but not that long. I speculate it was done using slow shutter speed which created this "image" of a long stream fire.

Picture below: Taken from some hills thats overlooking the city.

Picture below: Notice there are boats parked in the middle of the river. These are rich asses who doesnt want to squeeze in with the crowd.