What A Lovely Tuesday =)

Today is one of those days which makes to the top few suay-ness rankings in my Guinness record.

Early in the morning as I head to school to meet up with my friends to finish up an assignment, I realised I brought the wrong book. Immediately I knew, I just have this premonition that this is going to be a very bad day for me.

How true.............

Whenever something bad happens to me early in the morning, everything will turn out bad for me for the rest of the 24 hours. And I will be considered very lucky as long as nothing unlucky happen.

So back to my suay-ness story. After realising I brought the wrong book, I reluctantly went back home riding Harry. On my way riding back to Uni after retrieving my book, I was holding onto the handle with only one hand as the other hand was busy digging nose trying to relieve some slight irritation in my nose.

A car appeared out of nowhere and with all my musckles, I squeezed my brakes, forgotting I was only holding the handle with one hand. I lost my balance and nearly broke my balls. But somewhere deep in my heart, I knew my ah-gong still intends to keep the family name running so nothing serious happen to my lovely balls.

So, upon reaching Uni, I locked Harry up nicely in one corner as I headed to adjourn with my friends.

Halfway through, I excused myself to the toilet and as I passed by the place where Harry was parked, I realised there was this additional lock on my bike and a note was inserted in between.

Let's give this anonymous sender a name.

How about Mr. Naughty Guy?

Oh no, I sound so mean. Let's call him Mr. MotherFucker instead.

So Mr. MotherFucker wrote in the note," Your bike belongs to me. I have photos to prove that its mine. Please remove your lock or I will call the police."

Great~~~~~ How long more before today ends~~ I have enough of this rubbish.

So I wrote back," Hi MotherFucker, my bike was bought over a year ago and I have photos to prove it, friends to prove it, buyer to prove it and the best thing is, even my fucking blog can prove it. Go ahead and call the police. Remove the lock yourself or I will remove it for you."

Anyway, I was really pissed off at getting my bike locked up for no apparent reason and was desperately searching for help. A security guard who in the end turned out to be a motherfucker as well happened to pass by and I immediately told him what happened.

Instead of offering me help on how to remove the damn lock, he told me I cant park my bike there and should park somewhere else.

ZzzzzzzzZZzzzzzzz...

Well, it is ok, I am used to having a bad day especially when I am mentally prepared that nothing good is gonna happen today.

In the end, I had to walk home on foot!

P.S: I just recieved a call from my friend a while ago saying that the lock has been removed by apparently, Mr. MotherFucker. In the note he replied, "Sorry, it was a misunderstanding."

I love my day.

It Has Been Quite a While....

.. since I got tipsy. That is why I decided to invite my taiwanese friends over to my place for some booze drinking. Yeah, this is one part which I love in Australia. Drinking sessions can be easily held at your own place which is so different from Singapore.

And the plus point about my place is I can blast my music without my neighbours complaining. The reason was cause they are party animals as well. That's why when they have parties and are making too much noise, we do not complain, so when it's our turn, they do not call the police too. Nice neighbours~

I seriously enjoyed yesterday night haha. Though I have known my taiwan friends for a while, yesterday was the first time I actually drank with them.

Well, it was suppose to be a happy night but unfortunately something bad happened. One of my friend got apparently too drunk and fell off the step outside my room. And apparently she did not have the reaction to block her face with her hands and that is why she landed face first.

It was pretty bad, blood was pouring out from her mouth. Yeah, I mean pouring. She cut her lower lips and teeth as well. Everyone were getting so nervous about the situation and she was later sent to the hospital.

I have been to quite a number of parties and as well as some drinking sessions. But this is the first time I seen something like this.

The best part came this morning. She MSN-ed me and asked me how did she hurt herself.

Fuck, she was actually this drunk yesterday night wahahahha....

Four Seasons

Having spent 23 years in Singapore, I could never respond to a question when being asked which season do I like most.

Because yeah, Singapore has only one bloody season other than the occasional few droplets of rain every now and then.

No wait, I am wrong. Singapore does have four seasons; respectively: Hot, A bit hot, Quite hot and Sibeh Hot.

After spending a year in Aussie, I finally experience all the four different seasons so now is perhaps, maybe, possibly got a slight chance that I think I am qualified to say which season I like best.

Summer is crap. Its exactly like Singapore other than the air is drier. This means you dont sweat in gallons, you sweat in litres.

Autumn is so-so. The weather gets cooler but still kinda hot.

Winter is what I am going through now. During the peak of winter, it is seriously too cold. I hate hot weathers, but too cold is too extreme as well. I always have this feeling that I am going to die from coldness should I faint in the streets or when I pee, my urine will frost up forming an iceberg all the way till my *cough cough* eagle. And then I would have to break the iceberg to free myself. The grass starts to become dry and brownish in this period.

Spring is what I think, to be the best. The weather is cooling, perfect for outdoor activities and the once-brownish grass starts showing shades of green. As the saying goes "春天花会开".

And one additional information for you guys who have not step out of Singapore before. Do you know between every transition of season, there will always be this rain that will at least last for a week?

Don't know right~~ Country pumpkins~

I do not know why also, just that yeah, it always rains in Australia whenever it is changing seasons.

Why??????

Getting Accustomed To Aussie Lifestyle

Been here in Aussie land for a year. How time flies. Still remember the first time I came here and all the things which I thought would only happen to a dumb idiot, happen to me.

But after a year, I must admit that I acutally know more things about surviving in Aussie compared to Singapore. I know nuts about Singapore except how to take MRT to the different areas.

But over here, I learnt how to apply for my own electricity, telephone, internet, pay rents, bills and so on. I guess studying abroad really broaden my horizon. Thanks Singapore once again for rejecting me, I am grateful to you.

One thing I specially like over here is how courteous the drivers were. I drove here quite a number of times as my housemate own a car. I must say the drivers here are really very polite.

Back in Singapore, the drivers were very rude and even though you signal to change lane, 9 out of 10 people wont give in to you, the 10th one was busying sms-ing on his phone.

As a result, I also became one of those inconsiderate drivers who refuse to bulge when someone signals to change lane.

But here in Aussie, it's different. People readily give in to you when you change lane. It's almost as if instead of concentrating on driving, they are always on the look out on whoever wants to change lanes.

They are so polite, so courteous when driving.

But when drivers signal to change lane to the front of me, I refuse to oblige. Instead of slowing down, I speed up to close down the gap for them.

Cause hey, I am a Singaporean at Heart =)

Effective Weight Loss

Ever came across weight loss advertisements that emphasize that if you feel like losing weight, do it with a friend or in a group?

Today during one of my many smoking routines by the yard, I suddenly gave a thought about this. Do not ask me why I can suddenly think about this, for 24 years I am wondering why.

Anyway, I was seriously wrecking my brains on the reason why advertisements say that when you want to lose weight, it is more effective doing it with your friends.

After intensive inhaling of half a stick of tobacco, I solved the puzzle.

Now let GDQ (Great Detective Qiang) explain to you.

I reckon, the reason being, before you start losing weight, find a friend of yours and the two of you shall make a bet of perhaps $200. Whoever lose the most weight at the end of a designated day shall win the $200.

If it was me, I will cut my own flesh out to win that $200.

For most effective results, do it with a bunch of friends. In this way, the stakes get higher and you will be even more determined to win it.

Damn, cigerattes do make me brighter =)

Something About my Food

I have no idea on how to start on this post cause it is nothing special.

Nothing special cause being the same old me, I cooked some food.

Curry to be precise. I mean hello~ How many 24 year old guys knows how to make curry. Not just some random curry, but curry that is filled with love and taste not bad?

And what best way to eat curry but through the authentic Singaporean way? Eat with bread~

Of course my curry was for dinner but before cooking my dinner, early in the morning, I was thinking having curry would be kinda boring. Since I had some sotongs in my fridge, I decided to use it.

But I dont want to have just plain grilled sotongs, it is boring.

Therefore, a brilliant idea came along when I was shitting. I decided to make Grilled Sotongs with Mashies. Basically I just made some mash potatoes and then stuff it into the holes of the sotongs.

Typical idea to come out from shitting right?

Damn, I should be studying Bachelor in Zhi Cha.

Ok, my entry today sounds boring. So to compensate for it, I am going to say a joke. Original joke that was inspired from one of my friend.

*My friend bought a car. The car was fine except that it makes this very noisy rattling sounds whenever he is driving.

Therefore one fine day, he decided to drive to a car mechanic. Being a true Singaporean at Heart, he asked the mechanic," Ooi brother, can I have the cheapest way to fix this noisy rattling sound in my car?"

The car mechanic thought for a while and said," No problem, just for 2 dollars and I will fix it."

My friend was truly amazed by it and handed the 2 dollars over.

A while later, the car mechanic came back and handed a ear muffler to my friend.

*End

Happy 42nd Birthday Singapore!!

Today is the 9th of August.

Today is just another day amongst the 365 days.

Today is the birthday of the country that didn't want me, my country, Singapore.

Around 5pm today, I heard news that there was a celebration in QUT (Queensland University of Technology) for Singapore's National Day and there was a live telecast of the NDP parade. Upon hearing this, I chop chop changed and chop chop went there.

I rushed so much not because I miss watching NDP, I rushed because I miss seeing the icon of "Channel 5". Yeah, though it was an online streaming video, it was broadcast through Channel 5.
When I reached there, it was already pack with Singaporeans. I felt so Singapore. Everyone were speaking in languages I was familiar with, and missed so much.

As the live telecast will be screen in a lecture theatre where it's free-seating arrangements, I decided that I should queue up early so as to avoid breaking my neck at the end of the show. To my dismay, I forgot that I am among a huge flock of the pioneers of Kiasu-ism.

I learnt my lesson. In order to stand out among a group of pioneers of Kiasu-ism, next time, I have to be the king.

There is one thing I gotta say about this year's NDP. It is really much much better compared to previous years. But one thing I find it funny is that there is this red sotong guy who keeps on skating around. Very irritating~

It's Lion Fish lah! What red sotong!!

Oh is it? Sorry, my apologies, he kinda looks like a hae-po also.

And then this white guy who came in a Lamborghini. Hello~ Even our president came in a Mercedes. How can this random guy come in a car better than our president's?

Spending National Day here is really something new. Since when do you see people standing up VOLUNTARILY, saying the pledge and singing the national anthem? Soooo patriotic.

Now let's watch our birthday present for Singapore =)

In case you are wondering what the fuck we are saying, it's "Greetings from Queensland. Happy Birthday Singapore!!"

And thanks for rejecting us from local Universities. That's why we are in Australia, nah beh~

Newest Addition To My Family of Gadgets

Ever since I started work as the Hardworking Sandwich Boy, I was able to realise a some fraction of dreams of mine. First, I added Mighty Mouse, which was kinda something I wanted to buy for a few weeks.

Another thing which I seriously wanted to buy for very long, almost for a few years, was a LCD monitor. Finally yesterday, I added Mighty Monitor to the family =)

Of course, before I bought my Mighty Monitor, I did research for a couple of weeks, comparing prices, models, between Ebay, Sim Lim Square (Based in Singapore), and a couple of shops in Australia.

I finally settled on buying the LG 20" LCD monitor for SGD 300 which was cheapest around Australia, Singapore, and some say Batam.

I simply love my new monitor. It is just a luxury watching movies from a bigger screen. And when watching porn, those boobs and dicks get even more HUMONGOUS.

Anyway, I wanted a cool wallpaper for my new monitor. I tried looking online for a nice one but to no avail. That is when I suddenly thought of one of my friend, Shawnie Boy.

Do not ask me why I thought of him, I am not gay. But anyway I just grab my very useful, and very reliable Canon Ixus 850IS and snapped a picture of my keyboard. This idea originated from him.




Well, it is not exactly nice but I like it because it is pretty, pretty ugly.

Tsk, no lah. I like my wallpaper. It looks nice. And I think I took a better picture compared to Shawnie Boy haha