The Puzzle Of Chicken Breast

Back in Singapore, its common knowledge to know that chicken wings and drumsticks are actually much more expensive than chicken breast.

Reason is cause, a bloody chicken has only two wings and drumsticks but has a fucking big breast. Plus, some people, like me, finds chicken breast taste like shit cause its unbelieveably dry and hard.

That's why you can imagine my joy when I discover over here in Australia, things are different. One kg of chicken breast can cause round AUD 15 but one kg of wings or drumsticks is only round AUD 2.50.

The only reason I can think of is cause maybe Australians find chicken breast nicer.

And back in Singapore, there was an old legend regarding chicken.
Most people who likes to eat chicken breast are people who are lazy.

Guess what, Australians love chicken breast.

Perhaps...

Wee u wee~!

Finally I am blogging again tsk. It was holidays this week. This means I can stay away from school for one week. But I dont know why I stayed away from blogging for 1 week also.
Perhaps.....

No matter how long holidays are, I never seem to find them enough. Especially when I foresee the things that need to be completed once school reopens, it just burns the little glimmer of fire in me.
Perhaps.....

However, looking at the calendar, the little glimmer of fire aspires to burn stronger. Bit shorter than 2 months, and Yours Sincerely will be back in Singapore. Just cant stop putting that smile on my face away.
Perhaps.....

I have scheduled a fully fun filled packed adrenaline rushing 1 week package once I reached Singapore. Its so fun filled packed that it brought a bigger smile to my face when I looked at it after completing.
Perhaps.....

It would include a 7 days eating spree. Yes that's correct. I am going to indulge all of my 7 days in makan, makan, and non stop makan. I miss Singapore food siah~
Perhaps.....

All right, seems that I took a break for too long. Not quite sure on what to blog right now. Think I better go do my maths now. This is screwed.
Perhaps.....


Perhaps..... I am 23 now....

The Greatest Day, Ever Since Mankind

Today is the 23rd of September, 2006.

23 years ago on this very day, a man was born; a great man.....

That great man is, non other then, *cough cough Yours Sincerely.

As I was saying earlier on, I had dinner at Dwarfs' Hut yesterday.

Dinner was good.

Dinner was fantastic.

Dinner was world-class.

Dinner was impeccable.

Dinner was cooked by Yours Sincerely.

Hehe~

So today, not wanting to spend the rest of the greatest day ever since mankind at home, I decided to go city walk walk with the dwarfs. What kind of birthday is it to stay the greatest day ever since mankind at home? Bored~

So now I am blogging away, all done, all set, make-up all put on, waiting for the time to reach before I head to the park near me to take the CityCat (ferry).

Eve Of The Greatest Day Ever Since Mankind

Before I blabber on the keyboard, perhaps you guys still remember on the incident that happen round a month ago?

The Dwarfs thought it was my birthday then, so they installed a pleasant surprise for me. It was such a surprise it nearly woke my grandma up from the grave.

Since tomorrow will be the greatest day ever since mankind, I decided to whip some dishes for my friends over here. I definitely wouldnt want to spend greatest day ever since mankind alone at home.

Although tomorrow then will be the actual day of the greatest day ever since mankind, I am one of those few people who actually prefer celebrating things on the eve itself; rather than the actual day.

The reason why I am blogging away now instead of indulging myself on preparing the dinner for the greatest day ever since mankind is of course due to the reason I am done with the preparations. Just waiting for the time to come before I start cooking using my therotically-not-bad-but-technically-like-fuck cooking.

Just a coincidence, exactly 1 year ago, I celebrated the greatest day ever since mankind on a foreign land too. Never to think that one year later, I will still be celebrating on a foreign land. I miss celebrating with my friends, and of course once certain special someone.

Guess what, next year most probably I will be celebrating the greatest day ever since mankind over here too.

I miss the days when I celebrate the greatest day ever since mankind with satays, carrot cakes and all the True Singaporean At Heart food on my table.....

The Day My Balls Grew Big Big

I always love presentations. Love, as in I am at the recieving end listening to presentations, and not the one giving presentations. I hate giving presentations. It makes me nervous and endless nights of unable to sleep.

My 1st time giving presentation was inevitably in polytechnic. It was then when I realise I dont like fucking detest giving presentations. It is just not my nature to talk infront of people. It makes my balls shrink.

Back then, I presented to Singaporeans. Though I was nervous, I did farely well cause I can talk lame True Singaporean jokes during presentations. It calms me down, it makes my audience laugh. The people at the recieving end were Singaporeans. They understand lame True Singaporean jokes.

Today, I had another presentation. To ang mohs.

As usual, I thought my balls will shrink. Guess what, days before my presentation, I really had the feeling I am shrinking.

Will ang mohs understand what I am talking? Will ang mohs understand my lame True Singaporean jokes? Will I tee-tee-ta-ti-tu infront of ang mohs?

But nonetheless, Yours Sincerely always rise to any occasions I face. I upgraded my jokes to lame Internationally Recognised jokes. I managed to force a few laughter from my audience. It calms me, it indirectly pumps fluid to my balls, making my balls bigger. I was not that nervous.

Now, I have conquered Singaporeans and ang mohs. I feel so happy. I feel so glad that I have finished my presentation.



But still, I hate presentations....

Wondering

There are times, when I lie on the bed before I sleep, I will be thinking on how fast things has moved for me. From primary school, to secondary school, to polytechnic, to NS, and finally to Australia.

To be honest, I have certainly got more accustomed to life in Australia, and along the way picking up bits and pieces of the puzzle to fit myself back to being a "Student", again.

I remember how much I was struggling during my inital few weeks here. Sometimes at night, I would sit alone outside my house and think back on my life and why the fuck am I here in Australia.

Sitting alone outside thinking about these stuffs are stupid. But sitting alone outside with a cigeratte in my hand is a different thing. That's why it was when I realise how attached I was to smoking.

I was never a hardcore smoker. A 20-stick pack could normally last me 2 to 3 days back in Singapore. Now I have drastically cut down on that to maybe 3 or 4 sticks per day.

I knew my Try To Quit Smoking Campaign has failed. But I didnt regret. Cause "smoking" itself has become my best companion throughout my stay here in Australia.

I know my peers are encouraging me to quit. I really appreciated that. But take it as I am finding an excuse or what, I cant imagine life in Australia without smoking.

Everytime I feel vexed after studying, I would stop whatever I am doing and take a puff outside. It ALWAYS helps.

I cant imagine my life in Australia without cigerattes. It will be like I am robbed of the only stress-relieve-entertainment I have.

Anyway, I dont really think an occasional smoke or two is that bad. Especially when its not like I am taking Subutex (Is this what they call it?) or any form of drugs right?

So as of now, I have decided to postpone my Try to Quit Smoking Campaign till further dates.

I may not have quit smoking.
But least I have cut down on smoking.

Cause cigerattes are fucking expensive here! :(

The Tale About The Dog II

I envy my neighbour's dog. Not only is it just revolving around eat, shit and sleep in its life, it is not required to do a whole lot more things.

It doesnt need to do reports (endless just to make it worse).

It doesnt need to wreak its brains out thinking how to do slides for presentation which are due on monday.

It doesnt need to worry about submitting an assignment which is due on monday.

It doesnt need to worry about cooking what for dinner.

It doesnt need to worry that the room is getting messier.

It doesnt need to worry the bills are due soon.

It doesnt need to worry on what it is going to be in future. (An engineer dog, an accountant dog, a policedog, a firedog, a nurse dog or a doctor dog)

And most importantly, it doesnt need to worry on gaining weight :(

I hate dogs.

The Tale About The Dog

Sometimes, I am really fed up with life. Fed up with the constant need of upgrading yourself, fed up with the need to constantly submitting my assignments (as what I am doing now).

At times like these, I really envy my neighbour's dog. All it does is sleep, eat and shit.

How great. How wonderful. I also wish I was a dog my life would consist of eat, shit and sleep only.

Hop into any supermarket in Australia, and you will see one row of food catered just for dogs. Their canned food looks more tastier. For over 23 years, I always have this constant thought of trying one mouth of their canned food.

Just for that one single time. But of course, I didnt have the balls to do it. Call me loser...

But if you dare, then give yourself a clap.

Somehow these days, I wished I was a dog my life can be better than a dog. Eat, sleep and shit. Not to forget sex Tsk.

*Ruff Ruff

The Thing About Xiaxue

People often tell me on how nice Xiaxue's blog is. I read it sometimes but not on a regular basis cause personally I find it ok only. Nothing against her, it's just my personal preference. I prefer those links that are on my right cause I find them lot more interesting.

But still, I got nothing against Xiaxue cause I think she is just being herself. Its realli fine.

But I read her latest update(Sept 12) on the 9/11 thingy and regarding Steve Irwin. I guess this will be 1st time I am saying this, but she is really one big..... damn I cant find the word.

Is there really a need to say things till "the way" she wrote them? It shows just how ignorant she is. I mean her style of writing is totally realli fine. Emphasizing on just being herself irregardless of what people says.

But her latest entry somehow trigger something in me. Never mind. I just cant find the word.

Why should I worry about her? I got my upcoming reports to worry on more. Tsk.

Cheebye~

Something about my hair

When I was young, I didnt really care much about my hair. I always prefer to keep it short. Its neat, its tidy. Well, at least this short hair part came after my 1st hairstyle of Extreme Left Handside Hair Parting.

The 1st time when I decided to do some "changes" to my hair was when I reached 12 years old. The memories still haunt me till now. I permed my hair for the 1st time; and only time. I was nicknamed "Samosa Hair" for the rest of my 12 years old.

Eventually my hair manage to straighten back to its usual style just before I entered my new seondary school and did it make me feel glad. I wouldnt want to scare the shit impress my new classmates on my 1st day of school. Kept my hair short and neat again for 1 year before I again, backside itchy decided to do some changes to it.

Left my hair to grow till those long & flowy type cause it was the In-Thing then. I had a centre parting and the fact that I was born with a 美人尖 (my hair had a M shape infront) helped much in keeping my parting neat. Note that though it was called 美人尖, I was not in anyway classified as pretty.

It would be more insulting than calling me cute (Ugly but adorable).

My hair then was the longest I had till even today. But soon, it was getting kind of irritating. Fucking irritating. Irritating as in whenever I tilt my head infront a bit, my fringe would fall off and irritate me when I am already irritated enough.

The final blow came one fine day when I was eating laksa. Apparently my fringe got hungry too and decided to dip itself into the laksa that I was eating.

I had enough. I thought to myself.

So Mr Me With Long & Flowy Hair lasted for only 2 years++. Cut it shortly after my 'O' Levels.

Watching my hair being cut off by the hair dresser was painful. Though I must admit they are irrtating, but still they have been with me for 2 years++.

So the old me appeared, the old me with short hair. I liked it that way. Playing soccer wasnt a hassle and I could even skip the morning bath without looking like Valderrama when I go to Poly.

From then on, I make it a point to visit my barber on a monthly basis. Short hair has a price to pay too. When it gets long, I look like a walking human with lion's mane. Therefore in order for ladies at Orchard Road not to eeeek at me, I had to maintain it monthly. Though in actual fact they already eeeek at me even if I cut my hair.

When I entered army, I was the one of those few who had no need to shave my head, cause as it is, it is already short enough :)

Hairstyle in army is the typical gong-gong-toot-toot-short-short type. So no need to elaborate much on that.

After I left army, I actually maintained my gong-gong-toot-toot-short-short type hair style. My friends and once-certain-special-someone kept complaining on how toot my hair looks and keep demanding suggesting on new hair styles I should adopt.

I paid no attention cause I thought I look cool. Tsk.
But least it was really a hassle-free hairstyle. And most importantly is I didnt have to share my laksa with my fringe. I continue visiting the barber on a monthly basis.

Somehow or rather, 6 months after I ORD(dec 05), I eventually had another urge to change my hairstyle again. It was when I started growing my hair. Of course not to the extent of being Mr Me With Long & Flowy Hair, but perhaps something shorter than it.

So now here I am blogging away with my longer hair. It has been 3 months since I visited the barber. One thing is because I am in Australia and cutting of hair here is really expensive. But the main thing is cause I have seen friends who visited the barber here.

They walk in with nice stylish hair but come out looking as if they are growing Christmas Tree on their head. How not to scared?

I believe one fine day which is nor far away, I will still visit the barber here cause my hair is getting kind of irritating. But not so soon, I shall wait a while more. If not, I may wait till I go back to Singapore for holidays in 3 months time.

But can my hair wait till then? I shall see. Tsk.

I Knew I was Cool

Merdeka Night

Now at Dwarfs' Hut after a night of disturbed sleep at their couch. Had nothing except a thin MAS (Malaysia Airline) blanket which they stole borrowed from the plane. If that didnt make me more cold, the rain last night certainly did.

Took lots of pictures yesterday night. Will be updating when i reached home later. Stay tuned folks~~

------------------------------------------------------------------

I was having a relatively good sleep before I was awaken by the constant blowing of the fucking trumpet from my next door neighbours.

Trust me, as much as I have a relatively not-bad temper, there are 2 situations in life which will get me rather pissed off and grumpy.

1st is if I get interrupted from my sleep.

2nd is if you interrupt me from my sleep.

And to top it off, I was hungry. Did you folks heard of the saying? A hungry man IS, my friends, an angry man.

I shoved my blanket to one side, wore my slippers and marched my way out to the next door where the musical notes now seems to form its own shape infront of me.

I stood infront my neighbour's door and raised my feet.

I walked away. I remember my neighbour was an Australian 2 times my size. Though I was angry, I wasnt stupid. I was technically aware of the disadvantages I faced.

Whipped myself a simple meal of maggi mee before I sit down infront of my laptop now blogging away on the night which I much enjoyed yesterday.

Before you proceed on, did I mention that I took lots of pictures? Yup I did took quite a lot of pictures. But I didn't say I will be posting them up. Tsk.

I kinda look forward to the dinner cause they will be babes good food and live band performances which happens to be, my friends. And most importantly, I might be able to impress some chicks with my smart outfit.

Nope, I didnt wear suits of Captain Jack Sparrow or Superman. I just wore simple office clothes. But least it looks smarter compared to my usual uni. wears.

Oh by the way, I havent mention what was this dinner all about right? Pardon me, I just woke up. The dinner was so-called Merdeka Night. It was some sort of celebration of national day for Malaysia.

No you didnt see wrongly. It was national day celebration for Malaysia.

So what was a Singaporean like me doing there?

In case you didnt know, I have mixed blood. My father's a Malaysian (Singapore resident now) and my mother's a Singaporean. That makes me mixed :)

Dinner was in buffet style and boy did I enjoyed it. It really makes that money that burnt a hole in my pocket well spent. It's been sometimes since I ate nice authentic asian food. There were Sweet & Sour Fish, Satay Chicken, Curry Kembing and many others more. But most importantly, there was one dish called Singapore Fried Noodles.

Wo, now this is a 1st step to harmony between Singapore and Malaysia. I thought. Fancy having a Singapore-named food at a Malaysia celebration.

The so-called Singapore Fried Noodles turned out to taste disgustingly awful. Soon, people at my table were saying how awful this Singapore Fried Noodles is, how tasteless Singapore Fried Noodles is. Being the only Singaporean at the dinner. I think you should understand how I feel.

Next time, I shall hold a celebration for Singapore and make a dish call Malaysia Fried Rice. You know what I will do to the fried rice right? Tsk.

Dinner itself was coupled with series of performance. My favourite was of course seeing the bands perform. Both bands happen to be my friends or at least aquaintance. They could sing really well and were really natural performers.

Highlight of the night was when the actual event itself was over but most of the guys still stayed back to rock with the band. We all swamped to the front and started with our partying.

Dont worry, I didnt dance. Ducks dont dance. I just swayed with the rhythm.

Ended the fun night with my 1st watching of English Premier League at the Smurfs' Lodging. Neighbours of the dwarfs.

Arsenal drew 1 - 1. KanNiNahBeh Turban

Heart Warming Story

I chanced upon this story while reading the entry of a fellow blogger, Zhebin. This story certainly touched me. I decided to post this story up here cause I believe it will touch many too. Enjoy mates~


"When You Divorce Me, Carry Me Out In Your Arms"

On my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms. The bridal car stopped in front of our one-room flat. My buddies insisted that I carry her out of the car in my arms. So I carried her into our home. She was then plump and shy. I was a strong and happy bridegroom.

This was the scene of ten years ago.

The following days were as simple as a cup of pure water: we had a kid, I went into business and tried to make more money. When the assets were steadily increasing, the affections between us seemed to ebb. She was a civil servant. Every morning we left home together and got home almost at the same time. Our kid was studying in a boarding school. Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy. But the calm life was more likely to be affected by unpredictable changes.

Dew came into my life. It was a sunny day. I stood on a spacious balcony. Dew hugged me from behind. My heart once again was immersed in her stream of love. This was the apartment I bought for her. Dew said, You are the kind of man who best draws girls eyeballs. Her words suddenly reminded me of my wife. When we just married, my wife said, Men like you, once successful, will be very attractive to girls.

Thinking of this, I became somewhat hesitant. I knew I had betrayed my wife.But I couldn't help doing so. I moved Dew's hands aside and said, You go to select some furniture. O.K.? I've got something to do in the company. Obviously she was unhappy, because I had promised her to go and see with her.

At the moment, the idea of divorce became clearer in my mind although it used to be something impossible to me. However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife about it. No matter how mildly I mentioned it to her, she would be deeply hurt. Honestly, she was a good wife. Every evening she was busy preparing dinner. I was sitting in front of the TV.The dinner was ready soon. Then we watched TV together. Or, I was lounging before the computer, visualizing Dew's body. This was the means of my entertainment.

One day I said to her in a slight joking way, suppose we divorce, what will you do? She stared at me for a few seconds without a word. Apparently she believed that divorce was something too far away from her. I couldn't imagine how she would react once she got to know I was serious.

When my wife went to my office, Dew had just stepped out. Almost all the staff looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye and tried to hide something while talking with her. She seemed to have got some hint. She gently smiled at my subordinates. But I read some hurt in her eyes. Once again, Dew said to me, He Ning, divorce her, O.K.? Then we live together. I nodded.

I knew I could not hesitate any more. When my wife served the last dish, I held her hand. I've got something to tell you, I said. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want to divorce. I raised a serious topic calmly. She didn't seem to be much annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I'm serious. I avoided her question.

This so-called answer turned her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! . At that night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer, because my heart had gone to Dew.

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. I felt a pain in my heart. The woman who had been living ten years with me would become a stranger one day. But I could not take back what I had said. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer.

A late night, I came back home after entertaining my clients. I saw her writing something at the table.I fell asleep fast. When I woke up, I found she was still there. I turned over and was asleep again. She brought up her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but I was supposed to give her one month's time before divorce, and in the months time we must live as normal life as possible.

Her reason was simple: our son would finish his summer vacation a month later and she didn't want him to see our marriage was broken. She passed me the agreement she drafted, and then asked me, He Ning, do you still remember how I entered our bridal room on the wedding day?

This question suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories to me. I nodded and said, I remember. You carried me in your arms , she continued, so, I have a requirement, that is, you carry me out in your arms on the day when we divorce. From now to the end of this month, you must carry me out from the bedroom to the door every morning. I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those sweet days and wished to end her marriage with a romantic form.

I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she does, she has to face the result of divorce, she said scornfully. Her words more or less made me feel uncomfortable. My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. We even treated each other as a stranger.

So when I carried her out for the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly, Let us start from today, don't tell our son. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for bus, I drove to office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily.She leaned on my chest. We were so close that I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this intimate woman carefully for a long time. I found she was not young any more. There were some fine wrinkles on her face.

On the third day, she whispered to me. The outside garden is being demolished. Be careful when you pass there.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to feel that we were still an intimate couple and I was holding my sweetheart in my arms. The visualization of Dew became vaguer.

On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me something, such as, where she put the ironed shirts, I should be careful while cooking, etc. I nodded.

The sense of intimacy was even stronger. I didn't tell Dew about this. I felt it was easier to carry her. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. I said to her, It seems not difficult to carry you now. She was picking her dresses. I was waiting to carry her out. She tried quite a few but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, All my dresses have grown fatter. I smiled.

But I suddenly realized that it was because she was thinner that I could carry her more easily, not because I was stronger. I knew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart. Again, I felt a sense of pain. Subconsciously I reached out a hand to touch her head.

Our son came in at the moment. Dad, it s time to carry mum out. He said.To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had been an essential part of his life. She gestured our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face because I was afraid I would change my mind at the last minute.

I held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly, as if we came back to our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad.

On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. She said, Actually I hope you will hold me in your arms until we are old. I held her tightly and said, Both you and I didn't notice that our life was lack of such intimacy. I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my decision.

I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door.I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I won't divorce. I'm serious. She looked at me, astonished. Then she touched my forehead. You got no fever. She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I can only say sorry to you, I wont divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of life, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I understand that since I carried her into the home, she gave birth to our child, I am supposed to hold her until I am old. So I have to say sorry to you.

Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into cry.I walked downstairs and drove to the office. When I passed the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet for my wife which was her favorite. The salesgirl asked me to write the greeting words on the card.

I smiled and wrote, "I'll carry you out every morning until we are old".

When I was just a little boy..

When I was just a little boy, I used to.....

- hate the fact that I was blessed with a big head. I even had a song for my blessed head.

- hate bean curd. Who in the right mind will eat something so soft and tasteless? Other than my not-in-right-mind friends.

- drink from milk bottle till I was 5 6 7 years old.

- play those 20 cents machine where you put in the money into a slot then turn and turn till a round container drops out. My favourite was the small little ball which could bounce so high. I once deliberately accidentally threw 2 balls from my corridor down to see whether they can bounced back to where I am. I lived on 12th floor.

- buy stupid things from my primary school bookshop. Out of my achievements was the pointer. It was like a pen but could be extended into 6 ttimes its length. I was fascincated by form teacher using it. It felt like Zorro wielding his sword. But when I bought it back home and look at myself in the mirror with my sword, I look like Barney wielding a corn.

- watch cartoons. Countless ones. The best part was my TV was kinda old then. So everytime when it reached the exciting part, it will go blank suddenly and I had to kick knock on my TV to set it working again. My favourites were He-Man, Centurions, chinese cartoon featuring a yellow car looking for his mother entitled "笨笨", Thundercats, Transformers, GI Joes.

- once bought a Polly Pocket. I wasnt thinking really well that time. But I never like guys before.

- have this blanket with me that I used for so long and I never washed it before. I reluctantly threw it away when it could only covered my waist to toes.

- be so fat and have a big head. I looked like a ball. 3 balls in fact, my head, my body and my legs.

- fail my running everytime. Fat people just cant run; or so I thought. But now, *cough cough.
Try me. I will give you advantage of 2 lamp posts.

- be with TAF Club since I entered Primary School. I thought only special selected people was chosen. But only realised in Primary 2 that ya I was right. Special people were selected. The special people were all fat. No wonder I was thinking why I saw so many "me" in the club.

- go hang around the video shop below my house everyday talking with people like 30 years old. Ya I was that friendly. Friendly till once the shop assistant from the herbal shop beside pull my pants down in the open. He must be fascinated in my willy.

- hated my Primary 6 class. Well hated is too strong a word. I should phrase it as among my 6 years, that was the least happiest class I been too. But luckily, I made a group of 4 more friends from a neighbouring class. So though I was in the least happiest class, it was my happiest year :)

- order those small packets of milk which came weekly. And we could like sort of open it in classroom to drink. I even ordered those newspaper which was kinda fun to read. I forgot the name of it.

- play netball. I once tore the top which had written my position at the front. I remember my position was "WA". The reason why I remember it till today was cause W and A was seperated from each other at the end of my game.

- love playing hopscotch, one-leg and something similar to baseball. But instead of a baseball, we throw a tennis ball in the ground and opponent will kick it. We broke office window once.

- shit in my pants during school. It was devastating. I tarik my shit till cannot tahan and I rushed to toilet. But before I could take off my blue colour shorts, Mr Shit came out and greeted me hello. In the end, I was stuck in toilet till my class found out I didnt return to class. They informed my parents to come and bring new shorts for me. I dont know how I managed to get the face to return to class.

- got scolded once jialat jialat in Primary 6 by MRS B*H~! cheebye I forgot what I do. But certainly it wasnt that jialat till she forced me to pack my bag and GO HOME~! I packed my stuff and was standing outside classroom crying. And I waited outside the classroom all the while.
Till now I am wondering why did I cry and most importantly, why didnt I go home? I wished I can go back to the past so I can relive that scenario once more. I would have gone home and tell her how big her legs are. If that didnt make her cry, I would say her legs are even bigger than my head. Think that will give her the blow.

- drop my bicycle key into the toilet bowl while I was shitting, again in school. It was those squatting type. Since I had no spare key, you cant expect me to flush my shit away before I pick up my key from the toilet bowl right? Well, so you can guess what I did next, no need to elaborate.

- tear my pants umpteen times. I forgot how many times also. Now you know why my mother is so good at sewing stuff. She was well-trained by me.

- comb my hair in a side-parting manner. The cut off line was just 4 cm above my left ear. I also always tuck my shirt in wherever I go. I thought I looked cool.

- be shy when it comes to liking girls. I never dare to let them know I had a liking for them.

- decided to style my hair a bit. Went to the hairdresser and pointed at the hairstyle of one suave looking guy from the magazine. But end result was I ended with a hairstyle which for the entire Primary 6 life I was laughed by people as Guy With Curly Samosa Hair. (Right Mr Liu Yao Wen?)

In summary, I was just a normal little boy...

Harry On MC

Harry is sick since morning.

His back wheel suddenly just went punctured. I thought,"Damn~! Must be the bloody Uncle Toby's bar which I ate yesterday night."

I asked the doctor at UQ how much he charge for changing the rubber on Harry's back tire. He said he would charge me AUD20.

AUD20?! Did I hear wrong? Just the rubber itself cost AUD6 and you are charging me 14 bucks extra just for your service? I ask him go fly kite.

So faithfully I went to city to buy the rubber for Harry.

Headed to the Dwarfs' Hut where I left my bicyle cause Mr Chinese Who Cant Speak Chinese was forced by me volunteered to help me change the rubber.

After 10 min of work or so, Harry was fine; or so I thought.

So at around 530pm, I locked up Harry at the Dwarfs' Garage before I head to their place for a wonderful dinner. Authentic Mother's Cooking.

The reason I said Authentic Mother's Cooking was cause Mr Malay Who Grew Pubic Hair On His Head's parents were here in Brisbane on a holiday and tomorrow they will be flying back. So I was invited over for dinner.

Food cooked by mothers are really just different from cooking by young punks like us. No matter how nice our cooking are, we just lack that bit of something.

After dinner-activities were just chit chatting and so on. At round 11pm when I was about to leave, I went to the garage to pick up Harry.

To my fucking much dismay, its back tire was punctured again. I was fucking sianz. So it wasnt the Uncle Toby from yesterday night after all.

So now I suspect there must be something sharp that may be stuck in my wheel. So tomorrow I going to head down to buy another rubber. I would hope to solve it myself instead of sending it to the doctor which charge things so expensive.

Pray tomorrow Harry will recover.

Something Big About This Weekend

If I am mathetically not wrong, think its been quite sometime since I didnt blog for a consecutive 3 days. This weekend was kinda fast for me, cause it was exceptionally fun filled?

Well it may not be really that fun filled, but least it was sorta different from my other week ends over here previously.

Brisbane held a festival on Saturday. It was called River Festival if I am not wrong. Basically it's quite a big event where they show off display their skills on handling fireworks, creativity and a show case of their huge ass of money to buy so much fireworks by setting up fireworks on the river.

Think the festival has been so popular with the local Brisbaners that as early as 12pm, they were already people setting up camps to grab the best views to see the fireworks even though the show only starts at 7pm.

Guess what? For a moment I thought they were SINGAPOREANS~!

CityCat aka river ferry service was closed early in the afternoon so as to faciliate the fireworks later on in the evening. In the end, me and some of the dwarfs gotta rush like mad to Southbank where the event will be held.

The reason why we were late was due to the fact that we missed chinese food so much that we went to CheenaTown in the afternoon, bought food before rushing back home to leave our stuff back at home first.

And due to the fact the CityCat was shut down, it means the only transport left to SouthBank was by BUS~!

Cut cock-and-bull-story short, we managed to reach SouthBank before the dramatic opening of the show at 7pm.

How dramatic?

Try having a jet plane with this fucking huge, AND I MEAN HUGE CHUNK of fire beside its arse and flying so near over your head. You could feel the heat on your skin! For that few short seconds, I thought I was in Singapore!

And not to forget, its DEAFENING sound too. WHHHHHOOOOOOSSSSSSHHHHHH!

I bet even the dead could have been awaken by the sound.

After that was a series of fireworks which was shot all over the place. From the boats in the river to the buildings in the city.



After that was another fly past of the HUGE FIRE ASS JETPLANE~ Its the 2nd time and I caught it both on video.

The combination of all these things is really something different to what I see in Singapore. Although its true we do have jet planes and fireworks too. But well, maybe it's the fact our jet plane had no HUGE FIRE ASS and flew over like so fucking far away and fireworks were also like so fucking far away.

After treating ourselves to a feast of wonderful display on how filthy rich Australians are, we headed back to the Dwarfs' Hut where we could finally prepare our dinner which we bought from CheenaTown.

Mr Chinese Who Cant Speak Chinese though sadly cant speak chinese, but he sure makes a mean meal of assam laksa noodle. Not to forget his very *cough *cough experienced assistant, Yours Sincerly, constantly reminding him, "Hey Mr Chinese Who Cant Speak Chinese, time to put salt. Hey Mr Chinese Who Cant Speak Chinese, I have cut the onions. Hey Mr Chinese Who Cant Speak Chinese, I am done washing the plates."

After that, stayed over at the Dwarfs' Hut as we had another booze drinking little wine-tasting festival of our own.

And well, what's wine-tasting without cigerattes right? I smoked. But hey~! Chill mate~!

I think maybe, perhaps, possibly got a slight chance I have downgraded my status of a Full-Pledged Smoker to a Smoker Who Smokes On Special Occasions. It means, I have lower down my cigerattes intake.
So now instead of smoking everyday, I am smoking only on special occasions. Well, that's a big improvement liao right?


Just for a note, special occasions refers to the following:
- Every even days of the month.
- Every first Saturday of every week.
- Every friend's birthday.
- Every friend's friend's friend's birthday. Means that even if I dont know them, but I know it's their birthday, I shall smoke. It's a toast of cigerattes to them.









K lah, chill la mate, I was just joking on the above :)

96

No mind you, the number is 96 and not 69 which you thought it was supposed to be. 69 may be your favourite position number but to disappoint you, I am purely refering it as a number 96.

Minds will start wandering. So what the fuck does this 96 stands for?

A) Number of ex-girlfriends
B) Number of trophies won at the National Nose Digging and Farting Competition
C) Circumference of *cough head between the legs *cough in minimetres
D) Number of times which I thought of stealing the BMW 7 series which is always parked at my school.
E) Number of times I thought of touching the girl sitting beside me in class



For those that chose D and E, I am sad to say but you really dont know me that well. I will never stoop so low. I can buy my own BMW 7 Series in my next life when I have the chance. And I dont anyhow touch any girls. I am well-brought up ya know :P

For choice of A and B, you must have not known me for a very long time. Due to the fact that I aint really a hot favourite with girls often mesmerize the wrong type of girls.

For choice of C, *cough *cough, you really know me quite intimately but well, quite close to that but you are wrong. I dont have a mushroom as a man's most trusted equipment.

It's just the number of hours since I last smoke except for that 1 little single puff I took from Mr Chinese Who Cant Speak Chinese. Quite a remarkable feat from what I feel. Before I know it, I may well be on my way to being a SAY NO to smoking.

Smoking is bad for your health! It reduces your sperms! It clogs your blood vessels! It causes diabetes! It makes you feel horny! It causes AIDS and STDs! It causes short-sightedness! It causes sleep walking! It causes you to fall in love with me!

Hmm wait, the last point was an important factor. Then in this case, I feel you should carry on smoking. It does have some good factors you know :P