When I was just a little boy..

When I was just a little boy, I used to.....

- hate the fact that I was blessed with a big head. I even had a song for my blessed head.

- hate bean curd. Who in the right mind will eat something so soft and tasteless? Other than my not-in-right-mind friends.

- drink from milk bottle till I was 5 6 7 years old.

- play those 20 cents machine where you put in the money into a slot then turn and turn till a round container drops out. My favourite was the small little ball which could bounce so high. I once deliberately accidentally threw 2 balls from my corridor down to see whether they can bounced back to where I am. I lived on 12th floor.

- buy stupid things from my primary school bookshop. Out of my achievements was the pointer. It was like a pen but could be extended into 6 ttimes its length. I was fascincated by form teacher using it. It felt like Zorro wielding his sword. But when I bought it back home and look at myself in the mirror with my sword, I look like Barney wielding a corn.

- watch cartoons. Countless ones. The best part was my TV was kinda old then. So everytime when it reached the exciting part, it will go blank suddenly and I had to kick knock on my TV to set it working again. My favourites were He-Man, Centurions, chinese cartoon featuring a yellow car looking for his mother entitled "笨笨", Thundercats, Transformers, GI Joes.

- once bought a Polly Pocket. I wasnt thinking really well that time. But I never like guys before.

- have this blanket with me that I used for so long and I never washed it before. I reluctantly threw it away when it could only covered my waist to toes.

- be so fat and have a big head. I looked like a ball. 3 balls in fact, my head, my body and my legs.

- fail my running everytime. Fat people just cant run; or so I thought. But now, *cough cough.
Try me. I will give you advantage of 2 lamp posts.

- be with TAF Club since I entered Primary School. I thought only special selected people was chosen. But only realised in Primary 2 that ya I was right. Special people were selected. The special people were all fat. No wonder I was thinking why I saw so many "me" in the club.

- go hang around the video shop below my house everyday talking with people like 30 years old. Ya I was that friendly. Friendly till once the shop assistant from the herbal shop beside pull my pants down in the open. He must be fascinated in my willy.

- hated my Primary 6 class. Well hated is too strong a word. I should phrase it as among my 6 years, that was the least happiest class I been too. But luckily, I made a group of 4 more friends from a neighbouring class. So though I was in the least happiest class, it was my happiest year :)

- order those small packets of milk which came weekly. And we could like sort of open it in classroom to drink. I even ordered those newspaper which was kinda fun to read. I forgot the name of it.

- play netball. I once tore the top which had written my position at the front. I remember my position was "WA". The reason why I remember it till today was cause W and A was seperated from each other at the end of my game.

- love playing hopscotch, one-leg and something similar to baseball. But instead of a baseball, we throw a tennis ball in the ground and opponent will kick it. We broke office window once.

- shit in my pants during school. It was devastating. I tarik my shit till cannot tahan and I rushed to toilet. But before I could take off my blue colour shorts, Mr Shit came out and greeted me hello. In the end, I was stuck in toilet till my class found out I didnt return to class. They informed my parents to come and bring new shorts for me. I dont know how I managed to get the face to return to class.

- got scolded once jialat jialat in Primary 6 by MRS B*H~! cheebye I forgot what I do. But certainly it wasnt that jialat till she forced me to pack my bag and GO HOME~! I packed my stuff and was standing outside classroom crying. And I waited outside the classroom all the while.
Till now I am wondering why did I cry and most importantly, why didnt I go home? I wished I can go back to the past so I can relive that scenario once more. I would have gone home and tell her how big her legs are. If that didnt make her cry, I would say her legs are even bigger than my head. Think that will give her the blow.

- drop my bicycle key into the toilet bowl while I was shitting, again in school. It was those squatting type. Since I had no spare key, you cant expect me to flush my shit away before I pick up my key from the toilet bowl right? Well, so you can guess what I did next, no need to elaborate.

- tear my pants umpteen times. I forgot how many times also. Now you know why my mother is so good at sewing stuff. She was well-trained by me.

- comb my hair in a side-parting manner. The cut off line was just 4 cm above my left ear. I also always tuck my shirt in wherever I go. I thought I looked cool.

- be shy when it comes to liking girls. I never dare to let them know I had a liking for them.

- decided to style my hair a bit. Went to the hairdresser and pointed at the hairstyle of one suave looking guy from the magazine. But end result was I ended with a hairstyle which for the entire Primary 6 life I was laughed by people as Guy With Curly Samosa Hair. (Right Mr Liu Yao Wen?)

In summary, I was just a normal little boy...