Wondering

There are times, when I lie on the bed before I sleep, I will be thinking on how fast things has moved for me. From primary school, to secondary school, to polytechnic, to NS, and finally to Australia.

To be honest, I have certainly got more accustomed to life in Australia, and along the way picking up bits and pieces of the puzzle to fit myself back to being a "Student", again.

I remember how much I was struggling during my inital few weeks here. Sometimes at night, I would sit alone outside my house and think back on my life and why the fuck am I here in Australia.

Sitting alone outside thinking about these stuffs are stupid. But sitting alone outside with a cigeratte in my hand is a different thing. That's why it was when I realise how attached I was to smoking.

I was never a hardcore smoker. A 20-stick pack could normally last me 2 to 3 days back in Singapore. Now I have drastically cut down on that to maybe 3 or 4 sticks per day.

I knew my Try To Quit Smoking Campaign has failed. But I didnt regret. Cause "smoking" itself has become my best companion throughout my stay here in Australia.

I know my peers are encouraging me to quit. I really appreciated that. But take it as I am finding an excuse or what, I cant imagine life in Australia without smoking.

Everytime I feel vexed after studying, I would stop whatever I am doing and take a puff outside. It ALWAYS helps.

I cant imagine my life in Australia without cigerattes. It will be like I am robbed of the only stress-relieve-entertainment I have.

Anyway, I dont really think an occasional smoke or two is that bad. Especially when its not like I am taking Subutex (Is this what they call it?) or any form of drugs right?

So as of now, I have decided to postpone my Try to Quit Smoking Campaign till further dates.

I may not have quit smoking.
But least I have cut down on smoking.

Cause cigerattes are fucking expensive here! :(